I usually get excited when someone leaves a comment - it means that someone out there is actually reading this thing. But this morning I finally had someone who dared offer more than a platitude.
Apparently I'm a horrible theatre company. I'm disorganized, I don't care about my casts and everyone in the theatre community hates to work with me. I'm supposed to stop complaining and get my act together before I lose what few actors I have left.
The comment was left anonymously, but it was by someone who had done one show with me, and had such a horrible experience that he or she would never be back.
The timing couldn't be worse, as this morning I was planning on telling everyone exactly what we are doing to fix what's wrong with Grinder, which is exactly what the commenter says needs to be done - I've been upstaged on my own blog.
The words hurt - give me sticks and stones any day over this. The only thing that hurts more is that the commenter does have a valid point - I am a screw up, and Grinder is in trouble - it doesn't matter that the fix is on the way. As for not caring about my casts nothing could be further from the truth, but if it's possible to see things that way then it's just further evidence that change needs to come.
After much deliberation, I've decided to allow the comment to be published, for now. I think it's the right thing to do, and I hope that it will prompt more of you to respond as well.
Do you agree with this person? You can hide behind anonymity here, so you might as well be honest.
Do you disagree with this person? Have you had a good experience with Grinder you might like to share (I could really use that right now).
To the person who wrote these words, thank-you. Your points are taken - where I feel you are right I concede, where I feel you are wrong I respectfully disagree. Tomorrow I will tell you and everyone else what we've done to change things at Grinder, a change that was already afoot before you expressed your thoughts but one that I think will address many of your grievances. In the meantime I'd be interested in hearing your ideas for specific ways that we can make Grinder better, perhaps so much better that you would consider coming back and doing a show with us once again.
Today, for the first time, someone has had the guts to tell me I'm hated. I'm sure they're not alone, and I'm sure it won't be the last time I hear such vitriol - both succes and failure come with their detractors, so no matter which way things go I'm going to have to live with this experience and others like it.
And now it's time to pick up the pieces...