The Lazy Days of Summer?

Finally Friday.

After what has seemed like a long, perilous and exhausting week we are finally rolling over into the weekend schedule. Both the world's greatest wife and I are feeling the pinch - she was so tired that she staggered out the door this morning with tears in her eyes - and they're making her work so late tonight she may not even be back in time for the 8pm curtain. By the sole virtue of her predicament, I look like I'm doing a little better (consumed though I am with the guilt and sadness of being unable to alleviate her suffering), but I find myself barely able to keep up with the day - I can only think a few seconds ahead, and it's hard to form any sort of coherent thoughts for an extended period of time. My morning cup of java is certainly helping, but I think it will be about 5pm before I roll out of bed on Sunday - if I decide to get up at all.

And all this in the middle of July. This should be a time to relax a little, spend some time with friends and family, and not have to worry as much about work. If things had gone the way I'd envisioned them this summer at Grinder perhaps that would have been the case, or at the very least we'd have been closer to it. Alas, so much for the best-laid plans.

Once again I speak of change, the change we need to make in our outlook, that fundamental re-alignment, so that instead of playing catch-up we're always ahead of the game. Though I'm too tired this morning to feel much like thinking I force myself to look to the future, to see the results of that change, and press on towards the things that must be done to get us there.

I can't do much about the trials of world's greatest wife's job - she's in the one industry that actually benefits from an economic downturn, and her company is the victim of its own remarkable success. But I can do better at Grinder. I can at least make that a pleasant experience for her, and for me - in fact it should never be anything less.

At the end of the day, even at the end of a beautiful summer's day, it's far more desireable and far more healthy to work so you can live, rather than live so you can work.

The Thursday Morning Headache

Well, I've made it to Thursday - almost.

Woke up with a pounding headache this morning - undoubtedly due to sleep deprivation and stress, even though yesterday's very productive meetings have proved to significantly decrease, not increase, the stressful items on my plate. Nevertheless, it's still too early for the Advil to kick in, so I'm just struggling through it as best I can.

Tomorrow will, with any luck, be the last of my "real-time" early morning posts. Next week I'll hopefully have these written ahead of time, and I can speak in more eloquent terms about our new marketing staff, updates from the rehearsals of our various and sundry shows, the opening of 5 Women Wearing the Same Dress, and a very special announcement about what's coming to the stage in the not-too-distant future here at Grinder Productions.

So I hope you'll forgive this week's foggy musings - I'm really not at my best in the mornings.

Now I think I might go and lay down for a while.

The Belwood Experience

This morning's grogginess is all about Belwood, and our first show of the Belwood Season opening next week, Alan Ball's 5 Women Wearing the Same Dress.

Our performance weeks in Belwood are unlike any other in the company. Situated in one of the farthest reaches of Centre Wellington, Belwood is a bit "out of the way" for both actors and audiences, and we have to work especially hard to make sure that our out-of-town patrons make it to the show on time. Even for many locals, making the "trek" out to Belwood is something of an event. It's all enough to make for just a hint of the exotic in the air.

And visiting Belwood isn't just about coming to a play. When we're out there it's too far to go home for supper, so we quite often wind up at the Belwood Super Snax or the Highland Pines in between shows and rehearsals. We'll go for ice cream at the general store and the go and watch the teenagers diving off the bridge, the boaters racing up the lake and all the other sites and sounds of a tourist mecca plying it's trade in the all-too-brief Canadian summer.

It's actually kind of amazing that we get to be a small part of that, and it's actually quite the rush to drive into town with a truck full of scenery, pass over the bridge, and see, just at the corner of Queen and Broadway, the Belwood Lions sign, emblazoned with the words "Belwood Summer Theatre present..." and the name of our show.

We didn't ask the Lions to do this, thankful as we are that they have. This is just the sort of warm welcome any visitor to Belwood is likely to receive.

So come on out and see 5 Women Wearing the Same Dress, Thursday July 16th to Saturday July18th at the Belwood Hall. And while you're there please take a little time to enjoy the Belwood Experience - trust me, it's well worth the journey.

A Question for you

The real-time posts continue this morning, as it's 6:47am and I've already been up for over an hour.

It's a very good thing I'm very much in love with my wife. If there were ever any doubts about my faithfulness, I should think getting up at 5:30am after a 25 years of being a night owl should lay them to rest.

I have all the respect in the world for people who are productive at this hour of the morning. I am not one of those people, nor am I likely ever to be. My body clock is so hard-wired to be at the top of my game for an 8pm curtain that these past eight months have comes as shock treatments to my system.

So with that caveat, I launch into my musings for today. This time I'm going to need your help.

I'd like to take greater advantage of the woefully under-utilized comments feature here on blogger, and get some of your opinions on the casting conundrum that seems to perpetually plague our company.

If you were in my position, what would you do to "get people to do" as the world's greatest wife calls it? I'm talking about the process of gathering actors, offering them parts, getting them to accept, and then getting them to commit to the entire process of rehearsals and performances.

As simple as that may sound in theory, it's proving to be almost fatally difficult in practice - we just lost another actor this morning, who hadn't bothered to check the dates of the performance before committing to the show.

Why?

I'm open to suggestions as to why we seem to have such difficulty with getting commitments out of actors here at Grinder, and why our actors can renege on their commitments with such ease and diregard for everyone else involved in the production (and the company).

I want to know what you think we're doing wrong, but I also want to know how you think we can fix it.

The world's greatest mother-in-law likes to quote someone who called into 570 News Radio host Jeff Allan one day, with the simple question "What the hell is wrong with people?" which is, in a way, I guess what I'm asking here.

What the hell is wrong with people? What the hell is wrong with me?

I welcome your thoughts, comments, suggestions.

My Helium Profile... in case you wanted to know

Eric Goudie is a freelance writer and theatrical entrepreneur enjoying a rich, diverse and fulfilling career as a creative person in the arts.

As a teenager, Eric had a poem published by the Poetry Institute of Canada, and was a recipient of the Dorothy Shoemaker Literary Award for Fiction. He wrote, produced and directed his first play, "To Be a Friend" while still in high school and participated for two years in the Lions Club Effective Speaking Contest, each time advancing to the pronvicial finals in his age category.

After earning his undergraduate degree in English and Drama from the University of Guelph Eric started Grinder Productions, realizing his dream of running his own theatre company. His first play was an original production called Seeing Red, or the story of Little Red Riding Hood your Mother didn't tell you, which was subsequently published as part of the Canadian Amateur Playwrights Catalogue through Questex Consulting Ltd.

Since then Eric has gone on to write many more full-length and one-act plays, almost exclusively for production with his own company, though theatres from across Canada and the United States have read and expressed interest in his works. He has also published a how-to manual for Production Managers entitled "Tech Theatre 101," which is available for purchase (along with many of his plays) at his online storefront at lulu.com.

Besides writing plays Eric is also active on Grinder's Grumblings, his company's blog, where he serves up daily information about what's going on at Grinder, as well as more general thoughts on the evolving state of theatrical practice in Canada and around the world.

Eric's newest literary pursuit is writing for Helium, where he has amassed a large and diverse portfolio of articles on subjects ranging from performing Shakespeare to tips for preventing mailbox vandalism. He is an editor for the site, as well as the Channel Steward for Theatre and Drama, and enjoys the opportunity to collaborate with his fellow writers to constantly improve the quality and quantity of writing that can be found on Helium.

Besides writing, Eric volunteers his time and expertise as a technician at the Fergus Grand Theatre, performing regular annual maintenance on the equipment and serving as a consultant on the purchase of new lighting, sound and staging gear for the building. He has also volunteered with Guelph Little Theatre, Galt Little Theatre, the Owen Sound Summerfolk Festival and many, many others.

Eric has worked professionally as a Stage Manager, Assistant Stage Manager, Set Designer, Lighting Designer, Production Manager and Technician, and has been involved in projects with some of the best and brightest in Canadian Theatre, including Norm Foster, Brian MacKay and Doug Beattie, as well as recording artists La Toya Lesmond, The McCarrel Sisters and Juno Award winner Carlos Morgan.

Eric lives in a 150-year-old log cabin on a farm just north of Guelph, Ontario, Canada, with two cats and Julie, the love of his life.

Click here for my complete "About Me" page, where you'll find links to all of my articles.

New Week, Fresh Start

It's a real-time blog post this morning - no carefully pre-written articles today, just me and my groggy, caffeine-slurping self at 7:04am on a Monday morning.

I have to admit, last week was a bit of a wash-out. I wouldn't go so far as to call it the worst week in the history of the company, but it came pretty darn close. Suffice to say it wasn't pretty, and I was in a pretty foul mood by Saturday night, and it's been only thanks to a week of TLC from the world's greatest wife that I have been able to drag myself out of bed this morning and get back to the grindstone.

So by virtue of last week being so bad, this week almost certainly must be better. If nothing else I feel a bit better about it already, and that has to help the entire process along. But with any luck this will be the week that a multitude of smaller projects that have been on the go for some time will finally coalesce into some larger results - results that will both make my job easier and increase our chances of making it out of this summer season in a sound financial position.

I've spoken of change a few times on this blog recently (perhaps a few too many times - I'm starting to hear echos of Obama). It's very hard to embrace change, and even harder to embrace change without letting go of your dreams - a fine balance that I think is essential, for if I simply wanted to change things at this company we'd switch to a steady diet of low-rent musicals and English Farce, which might put bums in seats, but certainly wouldn't fulfill the creative vision that forms the narrative of Grinder Productions.

Another day, another dollar.

The Last Fail

I'm seething with rage this morning.

I've just lost another actor. One who had already committed. One who was in it for the long haul. One I was starting to trust.

One who would have stayed if there had been more actors around him, more people who had said "Yes - I want to be in this play too."

Can I blame the guy? Well maybe, maybe not, but I won't.

I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at myself.

I'm filled with hatred for the way in which I can't seem convince people to do something that they already love to do. If I could torture myself, coerce my being into forcing out of me whatever this defect in me is I would do it, no matter what the pain.

But I've been through that pain. I've searched deep within myself, and I have found many answers, just not the one for this particular problem.

I'm tempted to lash out, to simply throw my hands up and scream "What is wrong with you people!" but I know that isn't the answer. After all, who constitutes "you people" in the first place? The question I should be screaming is "What is wrong with me!"

We have a new marketing and casting person now here at Grinder. You're likely to be hearing from him in the next couple of weeks. His job will be two-fold. First and foremost, he's here to sell tickets, and execute promotional campaigns that put bums in seats. Secondly, it will be his job to fill the casting needs of each particular show, whether I'm directing it or someone else is. This could include inviting people to auditions, or putting interested actors in touch with directors who are looking for a particular sort of person for a particular sort of show.

I hope Ricky will provide some relief for the two biggest problems we currently face, getting patrons out to the show and, as the world's greatest wife calls it "getting people to do." I hope that he will be able to address these two shortcomings, and finally clear the way for us to make some real progress here at Grinder (which in every other creative and operational respect is more than ready to move forward).

The Birth of Merlin is a wonderful play. I adore the premise, the plot (convoluted as it may be) and the cast of wonderful characters. But it's also The Last Fail. It's the last play that will be fatally wounded by casting issues. It's the last play that I will contact over 40 people for, only to be met with everything from polite "no thank-you's" to deafening silences. It's the last play that will suffer from my shortcomings.

It will be the Last Fail for one of two possible reasons. Either things will turn around and get better, or they won't, and I'll be forced to walk away.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned change on this blog. I did not choose change for the sake of change, or even change to take advantage of new opportunities. I was forced to change my outlook on Grinder because I've recently changed my outlook on life.

Grinder always has been and always will be my passion, but now it must move over and make room in my life for my one true love. She deserves more than I could ever hope to give her, and far more than I ever could provide from my activities with Grinder (my earnings from which have rarely even been enough to provide for my own meager needs).

And while the world's greatest wife is perfectly capable and willing to provide for herself, our burden is now a shared one, and I don't believe that cooking a few meals, removing a few spiders and renovating the basement amounts to pulling my share of the weight in our relationship.

Perhaps it would be enough, were it not for the emotional duress that casting issues at Grinder put the both of us under. I, perhaps, deserve to lay awake at night worrying about getting a show cast. She does not.

It would destroy my soul to walk away, to give up everything I've worked so hard for, to forget the almost 15 years of blood, sweat and tears I've now invested in the theatre industry, and go get a menial job in a fast-food restaurant somewhere.

Even working as a part-time burger slut would be enough to break my spirit and snuff out my creative fire, so even if I had the time I wouldn't be able to do the sort of work that keeps me going. I would be a broken, unhappy man, and would likely return to the self-loathing, inferiority, fear and social alienation that dominated my teenage years.

I've fought long and hard to break free from my younger self, and since I've met Jules I've felt happier and more at peace than at any other time in my life. I don't want to go back to who I was, not just because I would hate it, but because it would have an affect on her too, and our life together would be filled with much less happiness and adventure than it is now.

But it still would be better than what's in the past. Giving up Grinder would destroy my soul. But I'll do it before I let it destroy my marriage.

So to you, gentle reader, I hope you understand why The Birth of Merlin is The Last Fail, and the necessity of bringing change to our company. If you're on the membership list, you may be contacted sometime soon, and asked quite simply "How would you like to be involved at Grinder Productions?"

Don't mis-understand me, I'm not giving up just yet: think of this as the "Hail Mary" play in football - time is running down, we're out of time-outs, and still well out of our kicker's field-goal range - our only hope is to empty out the back field, send every receiver deep, and hope someone can get into an open lane to catch a 30 yard pass before the quarterback gets clobbered.

Hut!