It's been a long few months out here at the homestead. A lot has transpired, from a new bathroom that never seemed to be finished to health issues that never seemed to get resolved to physical and emotional exhaustion from the pressure of starting all of that at 5:20am every morning. Oh yeah, and it's winter, with all of its attendant challenges (cold, biting winds, snow, ice, cold, cold and did I mention the friggin' cold? - I see now how easy it is for people to get Seasonal Affective Disorder - sunlight or no sunlight).
Through it all the world's greatest wife has been there beside me, thank goodness. Without her I surely would have gone over the edge. As it is I find it difficult enough simply to concentrate on the tasks at hand - between the sleep deprivation and the peculiarities of a creative mind I feel like I'm a self-whipping mule sometimes.
Writing helps, when I can do it, which is why I'm so candidly blogging away here today. To express some of what I'm feeling in the forum where I'm the most comfortable, the most articulate and the most honest does help clear a little bit of the clutter. I suppose I could ramble on here ad nauseum and see whether or not I've finally get to the end of it, but I wouldn't do that to anyone who might actually be reading this, even if I thought it might work.
These are difficult days, I can't deny that, but then aren't all days inherently difficult? Don't we lurch from one crisis to the next and never see the end point of one until another rears up before us? I think that in order to put an end to the struggles I'm going to have to make the declaration that one crisis is over before the next one comes up, thus ushering in a period of calm in the interim. Hopefully this will allow me to be better prepared for the next crisis when it invariably does hit.
I've already come a long way, and I deal with problems much better now than I ever did before, but there's still plenty of room left for improvement.
Today we find out if one crisis has come to an end (or is at least beginning to come to an end). I can't share the details of it just yet, but I can tell you that if things have gone according to plan our days of difficulty will be a lot closer to memories than then are right now.