Grinder's Grumblings

My new resume

2011-10-28T15:25:00.000-04:00

Eric Goudie’s Creative Resume

Phone: Available upon request

Email: grinder@grinderproductions.org

Summary

I am a creative professional with a large and diverse skill set, seeking contract employment in a wide variety of fields. While the bulk of my experience has been in the live performance and freelance writing industries there are many different types of jobs that I am qualified to do. I believe in building positive long-term relationships with my clients through hard work, excellent communications, and an ongoing commitment to our mutual success.

Employment (selected)

Theatre Owner/Operator Grinder Productions Sept 2003 – Present

Professional Lighting Design Touchmark Theatre March 2009

Freelance Writer and Editor Helium.com Nov 2008 – Present

Freelance Technician Independent Dec 1999 – Present

Production Manager Bluewater Playhouse Feb 2003 – Sept 2004

Technical Director Theatre on the Grand April 2002 – July 2002

Professional Stage Manager Canadian Actor’s Equity March 2001 – 2005

House Technician Theatre on the Grand Nov 2001 – April 2002

Production Assistant Theatre on the Grand May 1999 – November 2001

Education, Training and Certification

First Aid Level 1 St. John’s Ambulance April 2010

WHMIS Training Tack-Two May 2010

BA in English and Drama University of Guelph February 2004

OSSD Centre Wellington DHS June 1998

Firearms Safety Course CFSC Certified Instructors May 1995

Honours and Awards (selected)

Youth Entrepreneur of the Year winner CW Chamber of Commerce 2008

Youth Entrepreneur of the Year nominee CW Chamber of Commerce 2007

Youth Entrepreneur of the Year nominee CW Chamber of Commerce 2006

Skills, Hobbies and Special Interests

Farming, writing, blogging, woodworking, home renovation and repair, welding, vegetable gardening, reading, fishing, camping, graphic design, website design, entrepreneurship, amateur astronomy and everything related to the performing arts

References

Available upon request, based on type of work required.

Sample jobs

Writer	Copy writing, SEO website/blog content, press releases, ad copy, technical writing, business plans, scripts/screenplays, fiction
Teacher/trainer	Acting lessons (for kids/teens/adults), team-building events (for businesses/organizations/other groups), basic carpentry, audio-visual equipment, computer literacy, etc
Theatre tech	Source, set-up and run lighting, sound, or other equipment for any type of live event – presentation, lecture, debate, product launch, meeting, press conference, church play, etc – full production services available
Farm hand	Animal husbandry (experience with dairy, beef, swine, sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, turkeys, pheasants and wild boar), driving and operating farm equipment, tending crops and other farm chores
Handy man	House/pet check-ins, minor carpentry, plumbing, electrical work, grass cutting, snow removal, yard work, tree trimming, etc
Audio Engineer	Soundtracks, voice-overs, vocal recordings, audio pod-casts, demos, background music, etc
Arts consultant	Research and recommendations on design, outfit and operation of performing arts facilities and community venues in theatrical lighting, sound, stage layout and auditorium design
Graphic Design	Logos, business cards, brochures, newsletters, flyers, websites, specialty items, liaising with printers and webmasters
Manager	Production/event manager, stage manager, crew chief, venue manager, box office manager, touring manager
Designer	Sets, costumes, lighting, sound, projections

This is just a selection of the jobs that I can do. If you or your company has a specific need that you need done please don’t hesitate to ask – I may have the skills you need.

It's coming fast...

2011-10-04T07:04:00.000-04:00

Come see it!

The 18 Carat Bumpkin

2011-09-07T08:17:00.000-04:00

The 18 Carat Blogs

2011-09-07T08:10:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the 18 Carat Blog series. Over the next six weeks between now and opening night we’ll be featuring weekly guest posts here on the blog from some of the people who make Grinder the great theatre company that it is. You’ll hear from actors in our current production, as well as a few alums from shows gone by. I’ve also asked a few special guests to give us their thoughts as well.

I’ve asked each blogger to answer a fairly simple question – what it feels like to work on a show, and how has theatre improved their lives. I haven’t been looking for deep, dreary philosophical musings on the nature of art – this is community theatre, and it’s supposed to be a fun experience, first and foremost. I want to know how people are “getting their kicks” when it comes to theatre.

Tune in next week for our first post, by someone involved in our current production. In the meantime, don’t forget to purchase your tickets now for The 18 Carat Bumpkin, going up October 14^th and 15^th at the Fergus Grand Theatre. Click on the link on the sidebar to go straight to the box office.

And on to the next...

2011-08-29T07:11:00.000-04:00

It's now the Monday morning after the Saturday night before, and Life and Death is in the books. Thank-you to everyone who came out and made this show a success.

While this wasn't the largest or most complex show I've ever done it was a very rewarding project to work on. Sadly, I never did quite reach that "buzz" that I was hoping to attain at the outset of the process - too many things just didn't go our way for that to happen. Despite this, I don't feel embittered or wanting this Monday morning - it was a good show, and we did a good job with it. I proved to myself that you can survive a heart attack and go on to direct a decent play. I'd say that alone is accomplishment enough.

Now the hard work begins. Now we begin preparations in earnest (though they've been going on quietly for some time already) for The 18 Carat Bumpkin. I'm really looking forward to this project, but for different reasons than I was for Life and Death. That show was all about the content of the project - bringing work to the stage, including some of my own, that I wouldn't normally get to do. 18 Carat on the other hand is in the public domain - I or anyone else could bring this show to the stage at any time. Instead of being excited about the content of this show, I'm excited about the experience that it will be for the actors and the audience.

The 18 Carat Bumpkin will be unlike anything most people have ever seen before. Lillian Mortimer is not a well-known playwright - I can't think of anyone off the top of my head that she's similar to in style and tone. I think this play will be different things to different people - some will call it a comedy, some will call it a mystery-suspense, and others will call it a love story. It's all those things, and so much more. There's slapstick humour, family values, some great 1920's music - and all of it wrapped up in an honest sense of warmth and fun - it will be like going over to your whackiest friend's house for a dinner party.

I could go on and on about this play, but instead of talking about it I really should get to work on in. The set is built, but there's still so much more work to be done. And yes, we are still looking for people, onstage and off, so if you're interested in being a part of it, please let me know.

Life and Death - Viewer discretion is advised

2011-08-08T06:40:00.000-04:00

Round Two Knockout

2011-08-03T07:34:00.000-04:00

It seems that Life and Death is finally having its coming-of-age. We had our first really difficult rehearsal last night, when for the first time we encountered some real challenges when it came to making the material palatable to everyone. While we were only concerned with a small, eight-minute chunk of the production I'm struck by how large and difficult the obstacles this one little segment presented to us.

In the past this would have been the sort of thing that would have devastated me - how can I make this material work for everyone involved? I would have spent days wracking my brain for some sort of rationalization, and probably would have come up short. In all likelihood I would have made the problem worse.

Instead I simply asked the cast to take a leap of faith, and trust that between the strengths inherent in the script, my directorial eye, and their abilities as actors that we would prevail. I wouldn't have done that even a few years ago. I wouldn't have taken that leap of faith myself.

I couldn't promise the cast that we would be successful - in fact I pointed out that if my own past success and failure is any indication there's absolutely no correlation between what shows we feel are worthy of success and which shows ultimately worm their way into audience's hearts.

I'd be lying if I said I'm exactly where I want to be with this show - I haven't yet felt that buzz, and I fear that my craving for it may go unfulfilled this time around - too many people have backed out on their commitments. I haven't been able to do everying I wanted with it. I've made some compromises (some of which have actually worked out for the best). I've made some mistakes. And yes, at times this show has made me mad.

The collection of plays that make up this production of Life and Death ends on an ultimately uplifting tone - there occurs a salvation of sorts, if you will. But getting there means going on a maniacal quest to confont your deepest, darkest demons, and defeating them one by one. Last night we confronted one of those demons, and it prevailed. But with the next rehearsal comes round two, and I have faith in myself, in the play and in the cast that together we'll deliver the knock-out blow.

One step at a time

2011-08-02T07:15:00.000-04:00

Another day, another month, another summer slipping by all too quickly - for all the things that have changed in my life some things, like the passage of time, seem to stay the same.

We got a lot accomplished this past weekend on the organizational front - moved some materials, made some improvements to the livestock feeding arrangements, and put a major dent in the ongoing efforts to simplify life around the house. So much for sitting down and taking it easy.

Now that I'm back into the weekly grind (even if it's only a short week) I've got to see if I can translate at least some of that productivity and creative empowerment into substantive improvements on the professional front. Over the past few weeks I've found myself coasting a little in rehearsals, working from rote instead from inspiration, and while the creative writing seems to be doing okay the non-creative aspect of my writing is in a certifiable rut - even this blog has seen better days.

Patience is a virtue, and Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm on a lifelong journey to improve my professional self, and sometimes that means taking things one laborious step at a time. My "to-do" list for the month sits beside me, pristine and unspoiled, free of the horizontal lines that say "mission accomplished."

More to follow later this week. I feel another post coming on about Life and Death, and perhaps one about 18 Carat as well. I also think I have a title for my new play, and I'd like to talk a bit about that too. But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit here - today's task is simply to make some progress by taking things one step at a time.

Try not to suck

2011-07-20T07:27:00.000-04:00

We had a good rehearsal last night, I think - the play was run, worked through bit-by-bit, and then run again. Good questions were asked, good choices were made, and by the end of the evening there was a noticeable improvement in both the look and the sound of the entire piece.

A small step, perhaps, but an important one for me, as I soldier on in my quest for creative renewal. To be honest I was exhausted last night - between the early morning wake-up (plus the light sleep the night before), a day of heavy farm work, four hours of production work, and the oppressive heat, I had to hold onto the side of the barn just to stay upright. Despite this I think we had one of our better rehearsals.

Such is the lifeblood of theatre.

But I can't rest on my laurels, or congratulate myself on a job well done - at least not yet. A good base like this must be built upon, improved upon, and the opportunity must not be missed. Seize the moment. Suck less. But how?

Certainly my preparations for the next rehearsal are part of it - I must take some time to sit down and really think about what I would like that rehearsal to accomplish (and the one after that, for that matter). But I usually do that without being consciously aware of it anyways and besides, we're now back to the shows that I've written, so I'm back on familiar turf - there's only so much a director can do to get inside a playwright's head.

I could pour the energy into organization - I'm slowly cleaning up and re-arranging all my scene stock, props, costumes, lighting/sound equipment and stage management supplies, as well as digitizing and sorting all paper and media inventory (I seem to have accumulated a lot of stuff). But that's an ongoing project, one better suited to brain-dead Friday afternoons and frigid winter nights than today, when the creative juices are flowing so vigorously.

I think the big winner will be the new play that I'm working on - an as-yet-unnamed post-apocalyptic action-adventure-romance. I had planned on working on it today anyways, but already I've had a brainwave that will make my time with it all the more productive. While this play won't be hitting the boards any time soon I hope it will eventually turn out to be the best play I've ever written, and in my attempt not to suck when it comes to making theatre a new personal best would most definitely be a step in the right direction.

Thinking Life and Death

2011-07-11T10:41:00.000-04:00

You take it all so casual, second nature to you now,
You drive away assuming that you'll make it back somehow

Life and death, life and death a whisper in the air...
- John Gray, from the musical 18 Wheels

It seems that I've finally figured out where I'd heard the phrase "Life and Death" before. I was the ASM on this irrverernt masterpiece of Canadian musical theatre back in the 90's. It's a production that features an actual semi truck on stage (or at least we made it look like it was a real truck) and while it's not the deepest show I've ever done (it's written entirely in rhyming couplets) it is one of my fonder memories of my time in the rat race. It was a show that brought out some of the better skills in me (and it was around this time that I earned my "Grinder" moniker, if I'm not mistaken), and while I certainly must have made many, many mistakes and disappointed a lot of people (as I routinely surmised from the way I was treated and talked about at that point in my life) nobody could have argued on closing night that we hadn't together done something amazing.

That was one of the first shows where I really learned what it means to love theatre.

A dozen or so years later and I'm starting to wonder if things have come full circle. I've certainly come a long way, and there have been many shows, good and bad, since that time. Our production of Life and Death is a lot different than Gray's spectacular, but for me it feels much the same. I'm on familiar ground. I know this territory. I feel like I can bring something special to this project. It's not just another show. I'm sure that I will make some mistakes, and I'm not counting my chickens just yet, but I've got a feeling that this is going to be something good.

It's not going to be for everyone - there's plenty of coarse language, violence, adult situations, and yeah, a few people get shot. But mature content doesn't bother me, and if it doesn't bother you I think you'll enjoy this.

Life and Death goes up for two performances only - Saturday August 27th at 2pm and 8pm at the Ennotville Library. Tickets are $15 each, and are available from any cast member, at the door, or by calling 519-780-7593. Seating is limited.

Hope to see you there.

Theatre of faith

2011-07-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

I'm listening to tracks that I might want to use in Life and Death right now, and I have to admit that it's having quite the experience on me. I've been adamant for some time now that one of the ways I was going to suck less when it came to theatre was to pay more attention to the sound design - less utilitarian filler, more compelling narrative and counter-narrative.

The effect is, in this case, faith. No, I haven't found God (or organized religion - many people confuse the two). I haven't found anything new per se, but I do get the feeling that I'm beginning to rediscover a part of myself that has been lost for some time, a part of myself that comes from making great theatre.

I'm psyched for rehearsal this evening, despite being considerably tired. Maybe because we'll have everyone we need there tonight (someone better knock some wood). Maybe it's because we're moving into the second half of the play tonight, towards the plays that are perhaps darker in nature that those in Act 1, but that are ultimately more hopeful. Maybe it's the music, as I finally see another layer of commentary being added to the show's mosaic. Maybe it's something else.

It's been a while since I've felt that buzz that I get at the end of a great rehearsal. Every night it's been getting closer and closer. Hopefully tonight it will be there. Until then, I have to have faith that the moment is coming, that point where everything crystallizes, and turns into something amazing.

A theatre of faith - who knew?

Casting curse cowboy

2011-06-30T07:44:00.000-04:00

One of the most-read and most-loved posts I ever wrote back in the old days of these Grumblings was this one entitled Where have all the Cowboys gone?, a reference to the song of the same name by Paula Cole and its ironic depiction of male responsibility. At the time I was quite frustrated with the large number of men that were flaking out on their commitments to my shows, in many cases after rehearsals had already begun. While that summer wasn't the end of Grinder by any means it was perhaps the summer where the "casting curse" as I call it had its coming-of-age party.

I no longer find it surprising, or even particularly upsetting, when someone, male or female, drops out of a show. It's not the crisis that it used to be - I don't lose sleep over it anymore. Another director might see losing a cast member as a unique and unthinkable catastrophe, but I've almost come to expect it. It's not that I'm confident of finding other actors to replace the ones I've lost - trust me, the catastrophe is quite real and the chances of not finding someone are quite real too - but I no longer get depressed about it. I no longer cease to function. I keep going, managing through the crisis, as someone once said, instead of letting the crisis manage me.

I have had slightly more luck finding replacements lately - maybe because I'm not doing quite so many shows the available talent pool is a little bit deeper. And people's excuses for dropping out seem to be improving too - I can't really fault someone who has a legitimate personal, family or work-related issue, especially when it's been brought about by factors that are beyond their control. But the problem still remains, the curse remains alive and strong.

So my wrath isn't as venemous as it used to be. I don't waste my time getting angry anymore, I just sigh to myself and get on with the search for a replacement. I've learned to live with my curse, to succeed in spite of it. This cowboy is back in his saddle, and he's here to stay.

And on that note, if you're looking to do a show this summer or fall, please get in touch with me - I probably have a great role waiting for you!

Fresh starts

2011-06-28T06:45:00.000-04:00

It's been a few months since I've written anything here, and much longer then that since I've written anything of real substance. In fact it's been a long time since I've managed to produce much of anything as a essayist, playwright or blogger of any sort - I've been in the proverbial creative rut.

The time has come to write again. Time to make a new beginning, a fresh start. So much has changed in my life since I began blogging - I've got a home to call my own, set in picturesque surroundings, and I'm married to the most wonderful woman the world has ever known. Recently I've also become student-debt free (yay!), and suffered a mild heart attack (damn).

Time for a fresh start. I don't know when I'll post, or what I'll post - lots of ideas are running through my head. I'll still be sure to blog about what's going on at Grinder, but I hope that from now on my posts will be more philosophical than commercial (though there will still be commercial posts). I want this blog to be an extension of my creative self, not my entrepreneurial self, a personal improvement and empowerment tool rather than a clumsy piece of marketing minutiae.

It's another very early morning on the farm - the mist is still rising from the grass. A long day stretches before me. Another chance to make a fresh start.

Crime and Passion opens this weekend

2011-03-22T07:11:00.000-04:00

Just a reminder - it's almost here - seating is limited, so talk to any cast member or call to reserve your seats today!

Introducing Crime and Passion

2011-02-15T09:17:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I've done a show - months - which for me is an eternity. It's so great to be back to the cut-and-thrust of creative collaboration, and even greater to be working on this very special project.

This is a co-production between Grinder productions and up-and-coming local playwright Vince Masson, who's bringing his work to the stage for the very first time.

The show is called Crime and Passion, and it is actually a collection of five 1-act plays, three by Vince and two by yours truly. It will be performed March 26^th at 2pm and 8pm at the Ennotville Library.

The first half of the show, Crime, revolves around illicit activities.

“I enjoy the idea of regular people getting caught up in extraordinary circumstances, especially when it pertains to crime,” Vince says. “Stories where straight-laced, regular people can become entangled in criminal activity is something I’ve explored heavily in these plays, and I’m really looking forward to seeing the final product come to life.”

Being a lover, not a figher, my plays form the Passion half of the production.

I’m very excited about all these shows, and to be collaborating with Vince to bring his plays to the stage. It’s not every day you get to introduce a new playwright’s works to the world.

Please be advised, some of the plays contain coarse language, stage violence and mildly suggestive humour, so all potential actors should be comfortable with this, and should be at least 16 years of age or older.

All tickets are $15 each, and seating is limited. For more info or to get tickets to the show please call 519-780-7593 or talk to any cast member. And please check back next week, when I hope to have some rehearsal photos to share with you.

Announcing Crime and Passion

2011-02-12T15:50:00.002-05:00

Grinder Productions, in collaboration with up-and-coming local playwright Vince Masson is pleased to present Crime and Passion, a collection of 5 one-act plays on Saturday, March 26th at 2pm and 8pm at the Ennotville Library. Come on out and be a part of a new writer's world premiere!

Warning: These plays contain some coarse language and mature humour. Viewer discretion is advised.

Audition Information - please pass it on!

2011-01-04T14:03:00.001-05:00

Actors wanted for new playwright’s world premiere

Grinder Productions is working in collaboration with up-and-coming local playwright Vince Masson to bring his plays to the stage for the very first time. Masson, along with Grinder’s Creative and Executive Director Eric Goudie will be holding open auditions on Sunday, January 16^th at 7pm at the Elora Centre for the Arts.

The show being cast is called Crime and Passion, and is actually a collection of five 1-act plays, three by Masson and two by Goudie. It will be performed March 26^th at 2pm and 8pm at the Ennotville Library.

Masson’s plays form the first half of the show, and all revolve around illicit activities.

“I enjoy the idea of regular people getting caught up in extraordinary circumstances, especially when it pertains to crime,” says Masson. “Stories where straight-laced, regular people can become entangled in criminal activity is something I’ve explored heavily in these plays, and I’m really looking forward to seeing the final product come to life.”

Goudie takes over for the second half of the show, with a pair of plays about passion.

“I’m a lover, not a fighter,” Goudie says, “and I’m very excited to be collaborating with Vince to bring these shows to the stage. It’s not every day you get to introduce a new playwright’s works to the world.”

This is a cold read audition, so no preparation is necessary, nor is any previous acting experience. Some of the plays contain coarse language, stage violence and mildly suggestive humour, so all potential actors should be comfortable with this, and should be at least 16 years of age or older.

In addition to actors there is also a need for people to help out behind the scenes – once again no previous experience is necessary.

For more information about these auditions or to get tickets to the show please call 519-780-7593 or e-mail grinder@grinderproductions.org.

♦

Types of rehearsals

2010-10-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Always begin with a read-through. Some directors don’t do this,
especially if they’re doing a classic – everyone knows the story of Romeo and Juliet, don’t
they? While your budding star-crossed lovers may know the gist of the story they likely
don’t know many of the details – bringing those to light is why ... (click here for the full article)

The rehearsal schedule

2010-10-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

Falling behind is one of the most common pitfalls of rehearsing a play – it’s too easy to quickly
become bogged down in pointless nit-picking or become so engrossed in the play at the outset of
rehearsals that the last few days are spent rushing through the material at the end. There are many
ways to divide up a play for rehearsal purposes, but simply having a rehearsal schedule on paper
before you begin is... (click here to read the full article)

How to divide a play into beats

2010-10-07T00:00:00.001-04:00

Running through the entire play over and over at each rehearsal is a crude and inefficient way to
prepare a play for production. It can have merit when you’re working with a very inexperienced
cast, and you will need a few run-throughs at the end of the rehearsal process before tech week
to help everyone get a sense of the flow of the piece, but you can bring out a lot more truth and
comprehension in the play if you can explore small sections of it in depth.
But there are many different ways to divide up a play. A common way is to divide the play into
“French” scene – each time a character enters or exits it marks a new scene, and you simply
schedule rehearsals to work on the one or more scenes that feature the same group of actors.
This can get a bit confusing, especially... (clicker here for the beats of The Constant Lover)

Technical analysis of the play

2010-10-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

The technical analysis of The Constant Lover is available here.

How Theatres are organized

2010-09-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

All theatre, be it community, professional, educational or anywhere in between, has a
bureaucracy, an imperfect organizational structure that everyone involved in a production must participate in to some degree in order to do their jobs. Unfortunately job titles and the duties assigned to them vary wildly from company to company, and of all the jobs listed...(click here to read the rest of the article)

The Production Schedule

2010-09-28T00:00:00.000-04:00

Production Schedules are vital to the success of any production. They provide everyone with an “at a glance” view of the entire production. Despite the temptation to do so in smaller companies, Production Schedules and Rehearsal Schedules should not be economized into the same document, as this tends to be confusing for actors who... (click here to read the rest of the article)

Technical Script Analysis

2010-09-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

How you analyse a script has a lot to do with what job you’re doing on the production. This analysis is meant for stage managers and technicians, and should form the starting point for their work on the production. The break-down below shows a common method of organizing the information gleaned from the script. These lists can be added to or modified...(click here to read the rest of the article)

The Production Team

2010-09-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

Few theatre companies, amateur or professional, have one person for each and every job that needs to be done on a production – most people wear two or more hats. In the professional theatre there are some union jurisdictional lines that can’t be crossed, but in amateur productions it’s not uncommon to see the actors helping to put up the set, the person doing the lighting design also running the sound board, and the director handing out programs. The list that follows of positions on the production team is extensive, but it is by no means exhaustive... (click here to read the rest of the article)

How to highlight lines

2010-09-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

This is where the study of the play begins to differentiate based on what role you are playing in
the production. Since most people begin their theatrical journeys as actors, I’ve decided that an
actor’s primer for highlighting lines would be as good a place to start as any.

Why highlight your lines?

You’re not going to have the script in your hands when you step on stage... (click here to read the entire article)

Read the play again

2010-09-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Okay, I’ve read the play. I know what happens. I have experienced the play as much like an
audience member as I can without actually seeing a production. Now what?

Read the play again.

Why? Because now I need to understand the play, and everything it contains. This time... (click here to read the full article)

Read the play

2010-09-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

Every piece of theatrical advice and instruction that I have ever come across always begins with
the same three words – read the play.

It seems so obvious – how can you possibly act, direct, produce or stage manage a play that you
haven’t read? Yet there are a great many people who call themselves theatre professionals who
don’t bother to read a play before they begin rehearsals or start working on some technical
element. These are often the people who... (click here to read the entire article)

Welcome to Theatre Resources

2010-09-06T12:00:00.000-04:00

Thank you for joining me on my journey. You can learn more about me and about how this
project came into being by checking out my expository little epistle, How it all started.

This website is devoted to the pursuit of knowledge about theatre. It’s for everyone who makes
theatre, from writers to actors to directors to the person running the follow spot, and everyone in
between. It’s for amateurs and professionals, students and teachers, and even audiences. It is for
anyone who has to courage to honestly admit that they still have something to learn when it
comes to theatre and stagecraft.

The site is broken down into the broad topics of theatre... (click here to read the complete article)

June Newsletter Finally Available

2010-06-18T00:00:00.000-04:00

Get it here.

An important announcement from Grinder Productions

2010-06-17T10:52:00.001-04:00

Hello everyone,

It is with the deepest sadness that I must announce today that Grinder Productions has suspended operations, effective immediately.

The reason for this is simple: I cannot find and keep enough male actors to do any shows this season. This is not a temporary problem, but one that has plagued me for years. It is not fair to ask the few men and many women who have agreed to do shows this year to rehearse without full casts.

I am deeply sorry for doing this to all of you. If you are receiving this email it is because you have some stake in our company, as an actor, community partner, or friend, and I would like to apologize to anyone who is hurt, upset, disappointed or otherwise inconvenienced by this decision. I would like to extend a special apology to Tim and Sade, the two extremely talented, enthusiastic young people who were to run our summer camps who are now unemployed. If you know of anyone looking for two great camp counsellors this summer I highly recommend them.

Bronwyn, please accept my resignation from the Trillium Grant Committee, both in my capacity as chair and Grinder Productions as a member of the collaborative. I will personally still be happy to act as a consultant to the collaborative if my expertise is required, and I will also be available in the fall to conduct the technical workshops if the committee would like to hire me for those.

Kasey, please cancel our contract for the Belwood Hall this summer, and advise me if any money must be paid.

Believe me everyone, if there were any possible way for me to carry on I would – theatre is my lifeblood, and it defines every aspect of who I am. But I’ve carried on in futility for years now, even in the face of overwhelming rejection. I’ve never been able to interest enough actors in my shows. I’ve never really found the inner peace I need to sit down and properly prepare a show for the stage. And I’ve never heard the applause from a sold-out house at one of my shows. I may have given a few people a good start, and helped others on the road to their dreams, or so I hope. But personal success has always eluded me – the emptiness in my soul that made me start Grinder Productions has never been filled, and I must live with the fact that it possibly never will.

Jules has insisted that I leave the door open for Grinder’s return in the future. Though I don’t know how I will ever find the faith and trust in others that it takes to put on a show, Jules’ eternal optimism for a brighter tomorrow gives me hope that one day I will put on plays again.

I’ll keep the grinder@grinderproductions.org email address active as long as I can afford to, though the website and blog may fade away, or be changed to offer different content. I will keep the phone going as long as I can as well.

I will keep my Facebook page, and I will continue to write on Helium.com. I encourage all of you to visit Helium, and read my articles and How-to Guides. Though small, this will be my sole source of income for the time being.

I’m going to take some time off this summer to write, to farm, and decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I wish all of you the best of luck in your future endeavours, and once again, I am truly sorry for doing this to you, and for all the inconveniences you’ve ever had to endure for the sake of Grinder Productions. I am deeply thankful and deeply grateful to you all.

So good-bye for now, but maybe not forever.

Eric Goudie
Julie Goudie

Thanks for the comments, everyone...

2010-06-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Good, bad and ugly, it's been nice to get some comments this past week here on the blog. When you blog and blog and blog and blog and you're not sure whether or not anyone's actually reading it can get a bit disconcerting once in a while if you don't get the odd bit of feedback.

(Luckily for me blogging fulfills the natural need within me to write, with a minimum of structural constraints and little or no censorship)

Please don't hesitate to keep the comments coming, even if you're a hater - I do appreciate people's ideas and feedback, but I especially like to hear about constructive, pragmatic things that make things better here at Grinder.

And if have any ideas about topics you think I should include in future posts feel free to let me know about that too!

Guest Post from The World's Greatest Wife

2010-06-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

I was going to simply make a comment in response to the recent comment Grinder received but I have been allowed to do a guest post instead.

When I read the comment I was disgusted that someone would say such terrible things and not express their feelings directly. If someone has a problem with someone or something the only decent and adult thing to do is discuss them openly so the problems may be resolved.

I have worked with Grinder for many years now and am thrilled to say that it got me back into theatre after many years away from it and I love it again. The fact that I love it means that I would rehearse almost anywhere, just so that I can do it.

Grinder is not a big company with lots of money to throw around, yet it works hard to allow local people to get on stage and show off what they can do. It’s a company that has been in the community for years and struggles to keep going in these hard economic times.

Eric runs Grinder out of a love for theatre and his love for allowing others to get on stage or back stage and do what makes them come alive.

He puts up with people backing out at the last minute, people not learning their lines as they have committed to and trying to run a company during hard times. I have always felt that if I commit to something I should see it through; I guess the joke is on me because that does not seem to be the way things work anymore.

Perhaps what Grinder should do is just stop producing plays, forget about trying to produce local theatre and forget about giving kids and adults the chance to be on stage. I’m sure that’s what our commenter would like to see happen, but when someone has a passion that drives them to do what they love, I’m guessing it will take more than some hard words to make them give up on their dream.

I’m sure I should be writing this when I have calmed down from reading our other commenter’s remarks but I decided that I needed to share my feelings on the matter honestly and as I was feeling them.

Perhaps our commenter would like to try following his or her dream without the support or funding of a big company.

I’m impressed to see that Grinder is taking the comments in a professional manner and using the hurtful things said to grow and make the company stronger.

I wrote this about a week ago after reading the now famous comment and I have since calmed down and Eric is now allowing me to post my remarks. I'm sure everyone will say that I'm biased because I'm married to Eric but I want everyone to know that I have more than once told Eric that maybe he needs to give it all up because of what he has to put up with. Yet each time he comes back fighting and refuses to give up on what he believes to be a great company. Maybe we all need to stop and think about what we would do for a job we love. I get up each morning, drive an hour to work, work in an office doing stuff I don't really like and each day I wonder why there isn't a better way to spend three quarters of my life. I sure don't love my job but I sure wish I could say I did. Maybe then I would be more willing to put up with bull****!

Not to prosyletise, but...

2010-06-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

Here's an article on Helium on a subject that's near and dear to me and the world's greatest wife.

Understanding in vitro fertilziation (IVF)

FYI, there's no news right now, nothing to report whatsoever. I won't say "stay tuned" because I can't promise that there would be anything to report much before the first day of kindergarten - that's the nature of these things. We've decided that being open about the process is an important step though, because too many people aren't aware of the extent of couples who deal with fertility issues, and it isn't talked about enough, even amongst fellow patients.

Standby, Mackenzie - Chapter 6

2010-06-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Day four of rehearsals dawned bright and sunny, as had been the norm all week long. By 9am the Main Street in Sheridan’s Falls was already filling up with tourists and teenagers, all of the scantily dressed for the hot day to come. Dressed in her “show blacks” because Trudy was taking her picture today for the front-of-house photos, Mackenzie attracted more than a few quizzical stares as she walked down the main street towards the theatre, coffee in one hand, her stage management toolkit in the other.

“You’re a smoke short of finally looking like a real techie,” joked Steven, who was sitting on the front steps of the theatre having a smoke. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, both covered with dirt and paint from the shop.

“So how’s the stage managing workin’ out for you?”

“It’s okay, I guess. I never know what the next thing will be that I’m supposed to already know, but I think I’m staying ahead of things.

“That’s good. That’s very good. And you’re sure you’ll be needed today?”

“According to this CTA thing I’m technically not allowed to not be here.”

“Damn.”

And with that Steven tossed the rest of his smoke onto the street and went inside. Mackenzie followed, but went straight into the auditorium to get ready for the day. She double-checked her preset from the night before, set the running props and food props that couldn’t be put out beforehand, made the coffee, changed the jug on the water cooler and had just finished tidying up the production desk when the actors walked in. They made some small talk, and then some more.

Mackenzie looked down at her watch. Ten after. Where was Frank?

The actors began to look concerned.

“I’ll go and see if I can find him. Marlene probably needs something signed.”

Mackenzie went out to the box office, and found Marlene busily working alone, processing the online ticket orders while marking off a section of the auditorium for a large bus tour audience.

“Trudy will be in to do pictures at 2pm, just like you scheduled,” she said without looking up. “I don’t want another fiasco with the union like last time.

“Actually I’m looking for Frank. It’s ten after and I haven’t seen him since I got here this morning. The actors are starting to wonder where he is.”

“He’s in a meeting with Steven. Probably forgot the time. Just go and knock on his –

At that moment Frank’s voice rumbled through the entire theatre. It was muffled, but unmistakably his. Just then the door to Frank’s office upstairs opened, and Steven came out, almost running. Frank came after him.

“And I don’t want any more *#!$ing excuses! This is un-professional! You and Juan had better get your )*&^%^ together and get this $#@*ing thing built before Sunday or I’m going to cut you a new *&^%*^%%&!!!!”

By now Steven was at the door, and almost ran over Trudy as she walked in. Frank came down the stairs.

“What!” he screamed at Mackenzie as she came over to him.

“Uh, we’re ready. Everyone’s here.”

“Tell the kids I’ll be right in.”

Mackenzie was shaking as she made her way back to the auditorium. She’d never seen Frank that mad before. It was a different kind of angry, not the usual surly growling but a more dangerous, explosive sort of rage. Yet, it sounded to her as if it were a controlled rage, as if he was calculating just how mad to get. Luckily the actors had heard his outburst too, so Mackenzie didn’t have to explain anything.

It wasn’t until after lunch when Trudy was taking pictures that Frank told the cast what had happened.

“Steven and Juan are having some trouble finishing the set.”

The actors wanted to know what kind of trouble – Frank replied the kind of trouble that gets fixed by a good swift kick in the butt, which is exactly what Steven had gotten this morning. The actors thought this was funny, and nothing more was said about it.

After an afternoon that Mackenzie thought would never end there wound up being a ton of prop and costume notes for her to do, and it wasn’t until around 8 o’clock that she finally finished cleaning up and getting set for the next day. True to form, Bret strolled in just as she was finishing sweeping the stage, and Mackenzie half-wondered, half-hoped, that he had been waiting for her and watching her in the darkness of the auditorium.

“So was I right about the set, Macky?”

“Yeah, you were right, but I don’t know the details. Frank screamed out Steven this morning, and then told us at lunch that they were “having trouble” with the set, but that Frank’s yelling had fixed it.”

“Well, it might,” Bret conceded. “But I don’t think Steven and Juan will be out of the woods just yet. If I know those two, the ‘trouble’ they were having with the set was probably called a pint of draught, or perhaps Mary Jane.”

“Mary who?”

“Never mind, kiddo. I’d say we should go over there and help them, but maybe it would be better if you got some rest, ‘cause I think tomorrow Steven is going to want you to do some of the painting.”

“Why me?”

“Because he and Juan don’t like painting, and they’re likely going to pull an all-nighter tonight to get this done. Bring a change of clothes with you tomorrow and after rehearsal you and I will go, finish the set, and get it painted.”

“But I don’t know the first thing about set painting! Or set building for that matter.”

“It’s easy, as long as you’re not hung over and you actually stick at it. Tell your folks that you probably won’t be home tomorrow night, or the next, or for the next week for that matter. Once they load-in you’ll probably be here straight through.”

Welcome to Canterbury... again

2010-06-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

This was going to be our 1st main stage show at the Ennotville Library. Now it's the our first show at the Belwood Hall. This is Chaucer Uncensored!

Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales were completed in the final few years of the 14th century. They are a collection of stories being told by a group of pilgrims on their way to the Thomas Becket shrine in Canterbury, England. What makes the stories unique is that they are told largely by and about the common people of the time, not just the usual kings and queens.

We've taken three of the most-loved and funniest tales and rewritten them for the stage, in thoroughly modern English - this play is just as easy to understand as a typical bedroom farce.

The play is directed by Alan Quinn, who has also co-written the show, adding the British colloquialism that give it an even more farcical flavour.

Chaucer Uncensored runs July 8th, 9th and 10th at the Belwood Hall. Call 519-780-7593 or visit www.grinderproductions.org for tickets and information!

When the Cows Went Berserk

2010-06-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

It was a dark and stormy night in late October 2004. The old Grand stood much as she does now, except with far worse lighting. A vast set covered the stage, dwarfed only by the endless vista suggested by the scrim beyond the large bay window upstage centre. Someone said it was one of the biggest, most elaborate sets they'd ever seen on the Fergus stage.

Two young actors huddled in the cramped backstage, waiting for the lights to go down. A young man and a young woman, both playing roles well above their age, but filled with the plucky determination of youth. Alan Jackson's "Remember When" filled the theatre as the lights went to black.

That night Grinder Productions was born. That night it wasn't a staged reading, pieces of paper stuck to a wall, or some pathetic techie's asinine ramblings over his fourth pint of Guinness. That night we performed a play. It was called Home Farm.

I don't think Home Farm is the best play I've ever written (though a few other people do), but it's always held a special place in my heart, and it's one of the few plays that I promised myself that I would bring back when the time was right.

Well the time is now. Since we've been forced to change Chaucer Uncensored to Belwood, move around a couple of other shows, and do nothing less than re-think our entire business model I think it's high time for the most wholesome, honest play I've ever written to make its return.

Home Farm (or life before the cows went berserk) is the story of one day in the life of a modern family farm. It's a "typical" fall day, though of course there's no such thing as a typical day on the farm at any time. Filled with warmth, charm and even a little humour, Home Farm is as much about family, fellowship and love as it is about country living - think Dan Needles "Letter from Wingfield Farm" meets Thorton Wilder's "Our Town."

The show opens on Thursday, June 24th at the Ennotville Library, and runs Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays to July 3rd. For tickets and information please call 519-780-7593 or email grinder@grinderproductions.org.

It's official... the Middle Ages have arrived

2010-06-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

New Directions

2010-06-08T00:00:00.001-04:00

I write this as I'm sitting on the dock in Rosseau, whiling away the hours until I can pick up the world's greatest wife (who looks simply ravishing in a poodle skirt, by the way) from her company's annual meeting.

Cottages dot the shoreline. A young family fishes on the next dock over, and then a loon's call echos over the water. You don't get much more Northern Ontario than this.

Even though I'm far from home, noticeably exhausted and have narrowly avoided not one, but two wet and runny bombs from the seagulls periodically swirling overhead I'm oddly enough in a largely peaceful state of mind. Large bodies of open, calm water seem to have that effect on me, as does the quiet majesty of the boreal forest that seems to rise effortlessly out of the granite.

A par of mallards land just behind me, and begin foraging along the shore. A pair of loons surface just a few feet from where I sit. A blue heron glides over the water, disappearing in the instant she lands in the foliage on the opposite shore.

This is a peaceful place, on the dock, and it's made for a peaceful place in my mind. I don't think I've been this tired but still this happy since I walked down the aisle (which if you're keeping score was one year ago this past Sunday).

So what does all this inner and outer tranquility have to do with Grinder? Everything.

Up here in the clear northern air there's nothing but pure, honest truth. The truth about Grinder is that it isn't the runaway success it should be, can be or deserves to be.

In 2010 we've been plagued by people quitting shows, either just before rehearsals begin, or just after, and we've been unable to interest enough actors in being in our shows.

In 2009 we were plagued by poor attendance. I was very, very hurt when one actor I'd worked with before told me they wouldn't do a show with me again in a different venue because "you don't get enough people there for it to be worth it."

In 2008 we finally gave up trying to do shows at the Fergus Grand Theatre, a building that I've put 15 years of blood, sweat and tears into, because we simply weren't selling enough tickets to be able to risk a contract in Centre Wellington's premiere live performance venue.

In 2007 we ruined some lives.

In spite of our failures, we've had some victories too. We raised a little money for the cancer centre at Groves. We've paid thousands in rent, to the Township of Centre Wellington, to the Elora Centre for the Arts, and perhaps most importantly to the Ennotville Library. We've given many young people their first taste of theatre, be it acting, directing, or in a design/technical capacity, and we've inspired some of these young people to pursue professional careers. A few of these young people have even already found some success on the professional stage, screen, catwalk or behind the scenes.

And yes, two people met, became friends, fell in love and got married. Perhaps that is the most amazing victory of all.

So this is the paradox I've been struggling with: how can our victories (however numerous they may be) justify the shame and hardship of my entrepreneurial failures? I've spent most of the last year grappling with this problem in one form or another, and I'll admit I seriously considered giving it all up, and going and spending the next 40 years of my life making money doing something I hate, like everybody else.

But here on the boat dock it finally starts to make a little sense. I usually take Grinder's failures solely as my own, since on some level, no matter what actions any individual may take, it was ultimately I who agreed to them coming on board. Yet I usually see Grinder's successes as belonging to everyone, because I know that no matter how hard I may work putting on a show is a collaborative effort, and the most successful shows are most often those with real collaborative efforts from all involved.

What I realize now is that my attitude may be politically correst but it is pragmatically flawed. If success is collaborative then so is failure, and if I allow everyone to cherish the victories then I shouldn't wallow alone in the agony of failure and defeat.

I can't do it all alone. But what I can do is change how things are done.

So here's my idea. Grinder Productions is going to move from being a community theatre company to a sem-professional theatre company. What this means is that from now on everyone working on a show (as an actor, director or major production personnel) will sign a contract, and they will be paid a portion of any profits generated by whatever show they are in. They will be paid even more if they meet a series of "qualifying criteria" - basic expectations of professionalism like learning lines and showing up for all rehearsals. How much money each participant makes ultimately depends on how many people are involved in a given show, and how hard they are willing to work to make it a success.

So that's the new plan. We'll try it for the summer and see how it goes. I hope it will solve some of our biggest problems and make our shows more fun to be in. And yes, to be honest, I hope it will finally mean that I can earn a living wage from this, and meaningfully contribute to my family once again. And maybe by the time my 2nd anniversary roles around it won't take Lake Rosseau in all it's splendour to make me feel at peace.

It's official... I'm hated

2010-06-07T06:17:00.002-04:00

I usually get excited when someone leaves a comment - it means that someone out there is actually reading this thing. But this morning I finally had someone who dared offer more than a platitude.

Apparently I'm a horrible theatre company. I'm disorganized, I don't care about my casts and everyone in the theatre community hates to work with me. I'm supposed to stop complaining and get my act together before I lose what few actors I have left.

The comment was left anonymously, but it was by someone who had done one show with me, and had such a horrible experience that he or she would never be back.

The timing couldn't be worse, as this morning I was planning on telling everyone exactly what we are doing to fix what's wrong with Grinder, which is exactly what the commenter says needs to be done - I've been upstaged on my own blog.

The words hurt - give me sticks and stones any day over this. The only thing that hurts more is that the commenter does have a valid point - I am a screw up, and Grinder is in trouble - it doesn't matter that the fix is on the way. As for not caring about my casts nothing could be further from the truth, but if it's possible to see things that way then it's just further evidence that change needs to come.

After much deliberation, I've decided to allow the comment to be published, for now. I think it's the right thing to do, and I hope that it will prompt more of you to respond as well.

Do you agree with this person? You can hide behind anonymity here, so you might as well be honest.

Do you disagree with this person? Have you had a good experience with Grinder you might like to share (I could really use that right now).

To the person who wrote these words, thank-you. Your points are taken - where I feel you are right I concede, where I feel you are wrong I respectfully disagree. Tomorrow I will tell you and everyone else what we've done to change things at Grinder, a change that was already afoot before you expressed your thoughts but one that I think will address many of your grievances. In the meantime I'd be interested in hearing your ideas for specific ways that we can make Grinder better, perhaps so much better that you would consider coming back and doing a show with us once again.

Today, for the first time, someone has had the guts to tell me I'm hated. I'm sure they're not alone, and I'm sure it won't be the last time I hear such vitriol - both succes and failure come with their detractors, so no matter which way things go I'm going to have to live with this experience and others like it.

And now it's time to pick up the pieces...

Living the Dream

2010-05-31T07:01:00.003-04:00

Charles Dickens said it best - "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

We're now well into rehearsals for our summer season, with several shows on the go right now, and many more just on the verge of getting started. As the world's greatest wife has been reminding me, we're doing much better at this point this year than we were last year, and she's right - I'm very pleased to see how well a show like Chaucer Uncensored is coming along, and how we're already mostly cast for shows later in the season like Wild Angels and The 18 Carat Boob.

But of course it can't all be roses - we have our challenges, just like every other year. It seems the Grinder "casting curse" is still alive and well - getting and retaining actors remains our largest stumbling block this season, and it's been the cause of more hair-pulling and sleepless nights on my part than anything else. Particularly frustrating to me is losing someone for a role once rehearsals have already begun, something that the folks at Chaucer have had to face not once, but twice - for the exact same role!

Now don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone who is forced to drop out of a show - people have their reasons, and who am I to judge. But even so, most people have exceptionally good reasons for not continuing, usually work or family commitments, and I agree those have to come first.

But it's still frustrating.

It's frustrating to feel like everyone else's well-being takes priority over your own. It's frustrating to feel like your passion, your livelihood, your raison d'etre depend on the whims of others. It's frustrating to be turned down time and time and time again by people with better things to do. It's frustrating to feel like you're that hobby people have that they can just never seem to find the time to get around to.

So that's my venting for today - yesterday was a particularly busy day at Grinder, hence my feelings this morning. I really do love what I do - I get up every morning living the dream. I get to put on plays while everyone else is stuck in an office, a classroom or a shop and I'm very, very grateful for it. As I embark on another week I'd like to put the difficulties of the weekend behind me, and look forward to the wonderful adventures that lay before me, the world's greatest wife and the many, many people who love to make magic with us here at Grinder Productions.

Actors still needed

2010-05-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

We still have some roles available for this summer for interested actors.

Now that shows are getting into rehearsals the opportunities are diminishing, but there are still some spots left.

In the Belwood season there are still some very juicy roles up for grabs in William Shakespeare's Cymbeline, some of the best roles of the season in George Bernard Shaw's Mrs. Warren's Profession, and even a couple of roles left in The 18 Carat Boob.

In Ennotville things are moving too fast to give you an accurate break-down, but there are both main stage, lunch and after-hours roles still open. Our greatest need is for people to appear in the After Hours series.

I hope this whets a few appetites. If you've been thinking of joining us this summer I encourage you to come on out. All it takes is a few hours of your time every week, and you get to be a part of something incredible. And feel free to spread the word - Grinder is not an exclusive club, and anyone who has the desire to perform with us is welcome to come on out.

Call 519-780-7593 or email grinder@grinderproductions.org to get involved today!

Leave the Horse at Home

2010-05-25T06:21:00.002-04:00

Last night was our first rehearsal for Godiva's Children, the second Main Stage Show at the Ennotville Library. While I'm always happy to get a show into rehearsals, I'm also always a bit nervous about hearing a new script read aloud for the first time. Godiva is an original - it has never been done before, and it's never been given a workshop or reading.

As for the story of Godiva's Children, well, that might just be this production's little secret. After all, everyone knows the story of the original Lady Godiva, right?

Godiva's Children opens Thursday, July 8th at the Ennotville Library and runs to July 17th. For tickets and information please call 519-780-7593 or visit the website at www.grinderproductions.org.

Have a great long weekend everyone...

2010-05-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

... and I'll talk to you all again on Tuesday. Please raise a glass with me this weekend for our summer 2010 season!

The Actor's Toolbox

2010-05-20T00:00:00.000-04:00

We've got a lot of new faces this season at Grinder, so I thought today I'd point some of our newbies (as well as some of our veterans) to the resources we've assembled for you in The Actor's Toolbox.

Just head on over to www.grinderproductions.org and click on the "Toolboxes" link. There you'll find a number of pages devoted to actors, directors and production personnel. Many of these pages are still under development, but the actors pages are largely complete. There's info on learning lines, creating characters, proper theatre etiquette for rehearsals and performances and so much more. You can also suggest favourite resources of your own for inclusion in a future update.

Knowledge is power! And this information isn't just specific to Grinder. Theatre is theatre no matter where you go and this collection of tips will help you prepare for almost any play. Enjoy!

Welcome to Canterbury

2010-05-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

Our 1st main stage show at the Ennotville Library is now into rehearsals. It's called Chaucer Uncensored.

Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales were completed in the final few years of the 14th century. They are a collection of stories being told by a group of pilgrims on their way to the Thomas Becket shrine in Canterbury, England. What makes the stories unique is that they are told largely by and about the common people of the time, not just the usual kings and queens.

We've taken three of the most-loved and funniest tales and rewritten them for the stage, in thoroughly modern English - this play is just as easy to understand as a typical bedroom farce (and we even have beds).

The play is directed by Alan Quinn, who has also co-written the show, adding the British colloquialism that give it an even more farcical flavour.

Chaucer Uncensored open June 24th and runs to July 3rd at the Ennotville Library. Call 519-780-7593 or visit www.grinderproductions.org for tickets and information!

The Heart of Eden

2010-05-18T07:03:00.003-04:00

This show is the first in our "Mostly Music" lunchtime series at the Ennotville Library. You may remember it from a couple of stage readings we gave last summer - this is the first full-blown production (and I hope it won't be the last).

It's a feel-good romantic comedy about two young strangers who meet by accident in the park one sunny day. It's also a musical, filled with funny, feel-good tunes.

The Heart of Eden stars Andrew Simmons as Mike, a more hapless than hopeless romantic and Danielle Cranston as Eden, a girl who's irrepressible spirit is the sole driving force in her life.

The show runs for one performance only, Saturday, June 24th at noon at the Library. Bring your lunch and stick around for our 2pm matinee of the hilarious farce, Chaucer Uncensored.

Call 519-780-7593 or visit www.grinderproductions.org to book your seats or for more information!

And we're off!

2010-05-17T06:37:00.002-04:00

The Grinder 2010 season is officially underway.

Last night I attended the first rehearsal at the farm of Chaucer Uncensored, and today I'll be holding the first rehearsal of Heart of Eden. With these two shows now into rehearsals the pre-production period of our season has come to an end. Now it's a race to opening night, June 24th at the Library.

I can't help but feel excited, be it very professional of my to say so or not. Theatre is what I do, it's what I love, it's who I am, and having the chance to make theatre once again is a wonderful feeling. After not having rehearsed a show all winter I've sorely missed the give and take of a good rehearsal, and while I was just an observer last night it still got me revved up for what's to come.

And there's a lot of shows coming down the pipe. By this time next week no fewer than five shows will be into rehearsals, so expect the reports to come fast and furious about our progress. The box office should be up and running by the end of this week, so ticket sales will be starting again soon as well.

I'd like to thank everyone who's agreed to come on board with us this season, and to encourage anyone else who would like to come on board to get in touch with me, as we've still got plenty of room left for people to get involved.

Have a great summer, and I'll see you at the theatre.

My letter to the editor in the Wellington Advertiser

2010-05-14T07:30:00.001-04:00

If you're interested. The title is "Lots of Theatre."

Lots of theatre

Enjoy your weekend.

Dare to be Different - Speak!

2010-05-12T00:00:00.001-04:00

Our motto is Theatre that Dares to be Different - much maligned, much over-interpreted, for better or worse that is our calling.

Today, I'm asking you to be different, and instead of just reading this, I would like you to leave a comment, or at the very least get connected as a follower of the blog.

Some days it feels like I'm working in a vaccuum, that there's no one out there who's actually hearing me. On the blog it's not really so bad, as I don't require a response, but to all the people out there to whom I have sent casting offers and you have not responded back to me, yes, that is a bit hard to take.

So, purely in the interests of my own sanity, I'm soliciting your feedback, on anything and everything Grinder. Maybe it's a show you saw, an event we participated in, or something you've seen here on the blog. I want to know what, if anything, has struck you about what we do.

Some ideas:
What do you think of Grinder?
What do you like, what do you dislike, and why?
What's your great idea for putting bums in seats?

Or anything else you'd like to spout off about - no restrictions, just looking for thoughts. Maybe the fodder of future blog posts?

Datre to be Different!

Stanby, Mackenzie - Chapter 5

2010-05-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

Day two of rehearsals was much like the afternoon of day 1 – long and boring. The monotony of running the same parts of the play over and over and over again made it hard to stay awake, and Mackenzie found herself caught asleep on her feet a couple of times, forgetting to reset the props, having the scene start, and then the actors having to mime their actions, with Frank glaring her down.

Bret had been right about the costumes. At lunch Mackenzie raided the costume shop for a cloth tape measure and a couple of old measurement sheets that some costumer had left long ago, and she was managed to fake her way through some of the rudimentary measurements required.

Bret’s props were bang on as well, and Mackenzie wasn’t sure how she felt about taking credit for something that she’d only partially done, but Frank and the actors barely seemed to give the props a second look. Instead they just picked them up and started working with them like they’d always been there.

Now sound? How was Mackenzie supposed to know that by the start of rehearsals tomorrow that Frank wanted the sound track finished and ready to go? Mackenzie knew a very little bit about costuming from her community theatre shows, and she had learnt a lot on the last show about props, but she didn’t know the first thing about the sound system. She had called sound cues before, and she’d heard Marvin calling sound cues, but beyond that she didn’t even know how to turn the sound board off and on!

When Day 2 mercifully came to an end all Mackenzie wanted to do was hit the bar with Frank and the actors, or better yet without them, but she knew that was a luxury she couldn’t afford, so she reset the props for the morning, pulled costumes for the fitting, wrote up a schedule and posted it for the day and had just finished sweeping up the stage when Bret strolled in.

“Are you ready to do some sound, Macky?”
“I’m starving.”
“Then let’s get started over at Sammy’s. Bring your prompt book and a notepad.”

Sammy’s was the greasy spoon next to the theatre that was run by a Polish Immigrant family. It was always open late, and it was about the only place in town where you could order a banquet burger and large poutine at 11pm and nobody would judge you for it. While they were waiting for their food Bret and Mackenzie went through the script, making a list of all the sound effects.

“You’re also going to need scene change music for in between each scene, and for the tops and tails of each act,” said Bret.
“How do you know –“
“Let’s just keep our eyes on the ball here, Macky. You see that line there, where Dan says ‘Hear that one old girl mooing away last night?’ That means Frank will probably want the sound of cow mooing to start long before he says that line, like right from the half when the house opens.”

After supper they went back to the theatre, up to the booth and sat down at the computer, where the two of them searched the internet for the sound effects, and the theatre’s library of music for scene change and other material.

“Did Frank say anything about underscores anywhere?”
“Frank hasn’t said anything to me about sound. How do you know this is even what he wants?”
“Well, actually, I don’t know what he wants. In fact even he probably doesn’t know what we wants for the show yet. But what he needs right now is a CD that you can use in rehearsal so the actors can hear the sound effects and music and get used to them. Later on he’ll probably want to change a bunch of stuff, which is why I’ve put it all into a neat little folder on the desktop of this computer so that next week Juan can quickly find it and be half done instead of starting all over from scratch.”

After a couple of hours of cutting and pasting they had a CD burned and labelled and ready to go for the next day’s rehearsal.

“I wonder how the set is coming,” Mackenzie asked. “Do you think we should go over and check on the guys before we go home?”
“No,” said Bret. “The guys won’t still be working this late. You should get some sleep, because tomorrow Frank is going to hit the roof when he finds out how much work is still left to be done on the set.”

Hallelujah

2010-05-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

We are all like icebergs, aren't we?

The part of us that rises above the surface, the part of us that everyone else can easily see is but a small tip of what lies beneath.

Some of us think of the hidden part of ourselves as the private, others as the keeper of our true selves. For some it is a refuge of secrets, delusions and lies, while for others its a well of inspiration, strength and, when necessary, refuge.

Few people try to understand the hidden parts of others, and most of us don't really and completely understand our own hidden parts, if we're really honest with ourselves.

So what the heck does this have to do with the never-ending roller-coaster of Grinder?

Well, for the sake of extending hackney-ed metaphors consider the hidden parts of me, you and everyone who has a stake in this company or has ever been invited to have a stake in this company as the rails of the roller-coaster, constantly being laid a split second before they are rushed over in a constantly changing, non-stop, never-repeating ride.

I write this because after 25 years I decided that keeping all of the hidden parts of myself hidden were doing me more harm than good, and as I now sit on the precipice of middle age I've seen some positive payoff from that decision. Sharing something, however small, of yourself, something you normally wouldn't, is cathartic. Yes, a release.

I didn't call this blog "Grinder's Grumblings" for the sake of cute-sy alliteration. As much as it is the megaphone through which I gleefully proclaim the ongoing triumphs of Grinder Productions it must be more than that. It must be a true reflection of the journey. As much as I cheer the highs I need to also acknowledge the lows, and release them.

Todays "lows" are nothing in particular - there are no crises that weren't there before, no earth-shattering news, not even much self-pity to wallow in (another thing that's rapidly drying up on the precipice of middle age). They aren't even all that specific, just the weight of a week of sleep-deprivation and rejected acting invitations turning a rainy Friday afternoon into Monday morning's blog post, a frantic attempt to work through bleary eyes and do something, anything, that could count as productive.

Yeah, I'm a little annoyed at all the people who've let me down and not responded to my offers to be in shows this summer - I will admit that. But annoyed enough to never want to hear from them again? - NO!

Sometimes the silence of unanswered emails is deafening. I don't know if everyone realizes that - good or bad, either is better than not knowing, both on the business level and on the personal level. Yes, rejection hurts, but I really do need to know one way or the other, or at least that you're still thinking it over.

Knowing means I can move on to the next iceberg, hoping and praying that what I see above the water is a true indication of what lies beneath.

There. Catharsis. Release. Hallelujah.

Roles Still Available for the summer

2010-05-07T00:00:00.000-04:00

E-mail me or call 519-780-7593 if you're interested! Have a great weekend!

Job Posting - Director of Children's Programming

2010-05-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

Summer Job Posting: Director of Children’s Programming

Grinder Productions is Centre Wellington’s most diverse live theatre company. We are seeking an energetic, positive, out-going person to assist us with our Children and Youth programs this summer. Most of the work involved in this position will be conducted at our signature summer venue, the Ennotville Historical Library, a 19th century community hall located in the tiny Hamlet of Ennotville, Ontario, between the town of Fergus and the city of Guelph.

This position will have two areas of responsibility.
1. Cast, direct, design, produce and assist with the promotion of our Children’s Series, 10 one-act Children’s plays, one each Saturday from June 26th – August 28th.
2. Conduct two drama camps for kids ages 8-12, one in July and one in August. Each camp will be four weeks long, and cover the basics of theatre/performance. May conclude with a small show.

The Ideal candidate for this position will have:
• An exceptionally positive attitude
• The ability to keep track of a large number of projects at one time
• Previous experience in Children’s theatre
• Previous experience in theatre production
• Previous directing experience
• A Police check (PRC) may also be required (we’re looking into this)

Start Date: The week of May 23rd
End Date: The week of August 22nd
Remuneration: This position will pay $200 per week.

You will need to attend auditions on Saturday, May 29th in order to cast the shows. One or more meetings will also be required for production planning and curriculum development.

Please e-mail your resume and/or portfolio no later than May 10th to:

Eric and Julie Goudie
Creative and Executive Co-Directors
Grinder Productions
Telephone: 519-780-7593
E-mail: grinder@grinderproductions.org

May Newsletter now available

2010-05-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

Get it here.

Where Corn Don't Grow Sample - Comments Welcome

2010-05-04T00:00:00.000-04:00

Where Corn Don’t Grow
A drama in 1 act
By Eric Goudie
2nd Draft © April 2010

Time: The present. An afternoon in winter.
Place: The kitchen of a farmhouse in rural Ontario.

The Smyth family’s kitchen is old, poorly cleaned and heavily used. A door at right leads out to the barn, and an opening left leads to the rest of the house. There is a table and chairs pushed up against a wall, with seating for three. The floor is peeling linoleum, and a large window offers a view of the barnyard beyond.

At rise, Samuel is sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer and reading the newspaper, while in the background the Travis Tritt song “Where Corn Don’t Grow” is playing. Samuel is about 50, unshaven, and wears dirty, faded overalls, a ball cap, and work boots.

After a moment we hear the sound of a car pulling up, and then a moment later Cedric and Michaela enter. Both are high school students, with Cedric in Grade 12 and Michaela in Grade 11. They drop their school bags and remove their coats and boots in silence, then Cedric picks up his bag and exits to the rest of the house, barely casting a glance at Samuel. Michaela goes over to the sink and starts doing the dishes.

After a moment, Samuel looks up at her, then turns off the radio.

SAMUEL: What are you doing?
MICHAELA: The dishes.
SAMUEL: Why are you doing the dishes?
MICHAELA: Can’t I do the dishes?
SAMUEL: You sure as hell can, hon. How was school today?
MICHAELA: It was fine Dad. And don’t call me hon.
SAMUEL: Why not, Michaela?
MICHAELA: Because you used to call Mom that.
SAMUEL: So?
MICHAELA: So I’m not Mom.
SAMUEL: You look a lot like her, you know, hon.
MICHAELA: Dad…
SAMUEL: Oh, okay – hon.
MICHAELA: Dad! Knock it off!
SAMUEL: Can’t you take a goddamn joke?
MICHAELA: Who asked you to try and be funny.

A pause. Eventually Michaela goes back to doing the dishes.

SAMUEL: Why are you doing the dishes, Michaela?
MICHAELA: Since when do you care about dishes?
SAMUEL: I’m usually the one who does them, so I’m wondering why you’re feeling so generous today.
MICHAELA: Maybe I felt like doing them.
SAMUEL: Bullshit.
MICHAELA: Fine then, don’t believe me.
SAMUEL: I don’t. And what’s up with Cedric?
MICHAELA: What about him?
SAMUEL: He just waltzed in here and walked through without saying a word to me.
MICHAELA: And that’s different from every other day how?
SAMUEL: He wasn’t saying anything to you either.
MICHAELA: Maybe he’ll have something to say to the both of us later. After supper.
SAMUEL: After supper?
MICHAELA: I don’t know. I’m just saying he might.
SAMUEL: Okay, what the hell is going on here?
MICHAELA: What do you mean?
SAMUEL: You’re hiding something from me. So is Cedric. It’s something bad. Something bad happened today at school, didn’t it? One of you did something. Which one of you was it? Am I gonna get a phone call? Did they get the cops out?
MICHAELA: Dad, it’s nothing like that. Nothing like that at all.
SAMUEL: No cops?
MICHAELA: No Dad, nobody called the cops.
SAMUEL: Then which one of you is in trouble?
MICHAELA: Why do you think one of us is in trouble?
SAMUEL: Because you’re always getting into trouble, both of you, and usually they have to call the cops.
MICHAELA: We’re not always getting into trouble, and they only called the cops a couple of time because a couple of people over-reacted.
SAMUEL: Your brother was dealing drugs. And he set that fire in the girls change room, remember? They called the cops both times.
MICHAELA: That was a long time ago. He was in Grade 9.
SAMUEL: Well you’ve been in hot water since then. Remember when you got caught cheating on that exam?
MICHAELA: They didn’t call the cops.
SAMUEL: But they did when you beat the shit out of the girl who ratted you out. You damn near killed the little bitch.
MICHAELA: Now you’re over-reacting.
SAMUEL: And now one of you has gone and done something else bone-headed. Come on, no more stalling – I want to know what happened, and which one of you needs their ass kicked.
MICHAELA: I’m telling you the truth Dad – we’re not in trouble. It’s… it’s… it’s something different. I’m going to go up to my room now – until dinnertime. I have a lot of homework to do.
SAMUEL: Like hell you do. Sit down and tell me what happened.
MICHAELA: I really should get to work. I may not even have the time to come down for dinner.
SAMUEL: Sit, down, Michaela…
MICHAELA: Dad, I –
SAMUEL: (violently) SIT DOWN!
MICHAELA: Yes sir.

Jobs this week

2010-05-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's going to be a busy week here at Grinder.

I've compiled a to-do list of everything that I'd like to get done before Friday: write a bunch of stuff, work on Helium for several hours, finalize a couple of scripts, get a whole whack of people committed to being in shows this summer and oh yeah, start working on actually selling the season with the marketing kick-off. That, a children's series and don't forget the baby goats (actually that made me stop and add a whole bunch more things to the list).

You would think that with a list this long I'd be depressed about my prospects of getting it all done this week. I'm oddly confident, though. Perhaps it's my foolishness to even attempt to get so much done (I've been called foolish by a good many people a good many times), and of course no one can say what unforeseen events might crop up and throw a wrench into this week's plans (see the aforementioned goats, for example). But I can't help but have a good feeling, because when I look at the list while I see it's quite long I also see that the tasks on it are quite pragmatic and, most importantly, quite do-able. There is a lot less dreaming and a lot more reality in my to-do lists these days (for whatever reason, likely associated with the rapid onset of middle age).

If all goes well this week there won't be nearly as much to do next week, and we'll be well on our way to a spectacular summer season.

Call for Playwrights

2010-04-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

The Playwright’s Circle at Grinder Productions

Grinder Productions is a live theatre company committed to producing theatre that dares to be different. What could be more different than a new piece of live theatre! As part of our commitment to advance both stagecraft and the Canadian canon of dramatic literature Grinder Productions is pleased to announce the creation of our playwright’s circle.

Our Goals

To give ordinary people a chance to tell their stories through theatre
To workshop, review and discuss new plays, providing substantial, constructive, honest feedback to the writer
To reward playwrights with the production of their plays

Our Process

There are three tiers of the playwright’s circle, each reflecting the increased levels of commitment to the writing process:

Short Drama: Members will create short scenes, two-person dialogues, comedic sketches, monologues, songs, movement pieces and other dramatic materials generally not longer than 10 minutes in length.
One-Acts: Members will outline, draft and develop a one-act play 20 – 50 minutes in length.
Full-length: Members will craft a full-length play, which will then be extensively reviewed and work-shopped by the circle, and often given a staged reading. The final product will be given a main stage production.

All members of the circle are encouraged to write to all three tiers to whatever degree they feel comfortable doing so.

I’d like to start this group by giving it a goal – creating material for the fall 2010 season at Grinder. This will require short drama (on a variety of topics) as well as one-act plays (content of the author’s choosing) and some full-length adaptations of classic literary works.

Eventually I’d like us to have meetings to review and discuss each other’s works, but to get the ball rolling I’d like to keep our conversations on line to make it easier on everyone’s schedules.

Lost and Found Sample on Helium

2010-04-29T00:00:00.000-04:00

Here's a bit of Lost and Found I was able to adapt for use on Helium - all the course language had to be edited out, hence some of the odd word choices. Once again, feedback welcomed.

Drama: Resolve

Godiva's Children Sample - Comments welcome

2010-04-28T00:00:00.001-04:00

Godiva’s Children
A Comedy in Two Acts
By Eric Goudie
1st Draft © March 2010

Time: The Present.
Place: A holding cell in the local jail.

The scene is simple. A prisoner’s cell takes up an 8’x8’ square of the stage, with bars across the front of a windowless room. There’s a bed in the corner and that’s about it.

The stage extends in front of the cell a few feet, with a door on SR and a bench on SL

Act 1

At lights up Jerome is discovered sitting on the bed in the cell. He wears normal clothes and looks like a typical teenage kid. He looks sad, and a little bit frightened.

Offstage, we hear Leslie’s voice.

LESLIE: (off) In there? He’s in there? Through this door?
JEROME: Mom?

The door opens and Leslie Godiva comes in. She’s a 40-something working single mom. She’s followed by her daughter, Lola, who closes the door behind her and stands there, stunned.

JEROME: Mom!
LESLIE: Jerome!

Leslie goes over to the bars. Jerome reaches through to hug her, but instead she slaps him.

LESLIE: You idiot!
JEROME: Mom?
LESLIE: You stupid, stupid, stupid boy!
JEROME: Mom, I –
LESLIE: Stunned as me arse!
JEROME: Mom, -
LESLIE: How could you do something like this? How in the world? What the hell is the matter with you? When did I teach you to behave like that?
JEROME: Mom –
LESLIE: You’re a disgrace – you hear me? A disgrace! You’re a disgrace to me, you’re a disgrace to your sister, you’re even a disgrace to your rotten father. It was his idea, wasn’t it? He told you to do this. Did he tell you to do this?
JEROME: No, mom –
LESLIE: Don’t lie to me, Jerome? Did your father tell you to do this? Did he say “hey kid, you wanna be cool? I know somethin’ that’ll get everyone to like you.” That’s about the level of your father’s intelligence you know. If you can’t eat it, get drunk from it or give it a tune-up chances are it’s out of his league.
JEROME: No, mom, let me explain –
LESLIE: Did your father put you up to this? It’s just the sort of thing he’d do, just to get back at me, just to turn my crank. I can’t believe that bastard would use you just to piss me off –
JEROME: Mom, Dad didn’t put me up to this.
LESLIE: He didn’t?
JEROME: No.
LESLIE: Oh.
JEROME: It was just me.
LESLIE: You?
JEROME: Just me. Not Dad, not my friends, not anyone. Just me

A pause.

LESLIE: You idiot!
JEROME: Mom!
LESLIE: You stupid, stupid, stupid boy!
JEROME: Mom, I think we’ve been through all this already, could you just maybe calm down a little bit, I –
LESLIE: How could you do something like this? How in the world? What the hell is the matter with you? When did I teach you to behave like that?
JEROME: Mom, stop repeating yourself. You’re being hysterical. Lola, tell mom she’s being hysterical.
Lola: Shut up, pervert.
JEROME: Lola!
Lola: You heard me, pervert.
JEROME: Oh come on, Lola. Don’t be like that. You are my big sister and I need you to be a big sister right now.
Lola: (screaming) PERVERT!

Job Offer

2010-04-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

Summer Job Posting: Director of Children’s Programming

Grinder Productions is Centre Wellington’s most diverse live theatre company. We are seeking an energetic, positive, out-going person to assist us with our Children and Youth programs this summer. Most of the work involved in this position will be conducted at our signature summer venue, the Ennotville Historical Library, a 19^th century community hall located in the tiny Hamlet of Ennotville, Ontario, between the town of Fergus and the city of Guelph.

This position will have two areas of responsibility.

Cast, direct, design, produce and assist with the promotion of our Children’s Series, 10 one-act Children’s plays, one each Saturday from June 26^th – August 28^th.
Conduct two drama camps for kids ages 8-12, one in July and one in August. Each camp will be four weeks long, and cover the basics of theatre/performance. May conclude with a small show.

The Ideal candidate for this position will have:

An exceptionally positive attitude
The ability to keep track of a large number of projects at one time
Previous experience in Children’s theatre
Previous experience in theatre production
Previous directing experience
A Police check (PRC) may also be required (we’re looking into this)

Start Date: The week of May 23^rd

End Date: The week of August 22nd

Remuneration: This position will pay $200 per week.

You will need to attend auditions on Saturday, May 29^th in order to cast the shows. One or more meetings will also be required for production planning and curriculum development.

Please e-mail your resume and/or portfolio no later than May 10^th to:

Eric and Julie Goudie

Creative and Executive Co-Directors

Grinder Productions

Telephone: 519-780-7593

E-mail: grinder@grinderproductions.org

The journey begins

2010-04-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's beginning to look a lot like summer around the homestead. The flowers are in bloom, the goats are clamouring for the pasture, the skunks and raccoons have gone mysteriously inconspicuous while they have their litters.

I do enjoy this time of year, and not simply because the weather is getting warmer. After what always seems like a long and difficult winter I can't help finding optimism in the sunny days and spring chores. Apparently we're getting our own lawn mower this summer, which means we'll have to cut our own grass, which is will take up a lot of time, but at least it will be time spent outdoors making the most the good weather (I think after ten years of summer stock tech work my seratonin levels are still desperately low - bring on the Vitamin D).

Of course, spring also means that the summer theatre season is just around the corner, and despite my best efforts to make Grinder a year-round operation I still find that the biggest uptick in activity are the summer months, so it feels like we're getting ready for an old-fashioned summer theatre season.

The world's greatest wife tells me she has a good feeling about this summer, much different than last year (which, for those of you who remember, was a cold, rainy nightmare). I'm inclined to believe her, if only because these past few months of preparations, while fraught with no shortage of the usual troubles, gave rise to far fewer crises than in 2009. We're in better shape this year, we have more people, we have fewer expenses and most importantly we have excitement building in our company about what's to come this summer.

Frankly, I share Jules' exuberance, though perhaps I'm a bit more cautious in my optimism, for I've seen over-confidence rear up and smack us in the past. But I am feeling good - no, I'm feeling great, about what this summer holds in store for us.

Challenges? You bet. But as this journey begins our resources to meet those challenges are stronger than ever before.

Here's to a great summer - enjoy!

2010 Media kit now available

2010-04-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

Get it here.

Job Offer

2010-04-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

Muzzle Blast Sampler - comments welcome!

2010-04-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

Muzzle Blast – The Redux

A Play in One Act

By Eric Goudie

4^th Draft © May 2009

Time: The present.

Place: Montreal. A working-class Anglophone neighbourhood.

The set represents two working-class apartments, crammed together in a dilapidated building. Julie and Katherine share the SR apartment. A kitchen runs along the rear wall, with a small table and two chairs just downstage. Down from that, the door to the apartment hallway. That’s about it, though the entire place should be strewn with overflowing ashtrays, trashy magazines and the most pathetic of feminine accoutrements.

Harold’s apartment is SL. His is much the same as Julie and Katherine’s, but the kitchen fades off SL and the couch doubles as a bed when needed. Again, the place is strewn with beer cans, cigarette butts and porn, perhaps even dirtier than the other apartment.

A very narrow hallway runs between the two apartments and another narrow hallway runs across the front of them. The rest of the space downstage SL and SR is open and can be used for the non-apartment scenes, with minimal set pieces that can be removed when not in use.

Scene 1 – Julie and Katherine’s Apartment

Lights up on Julie in the hallway, carrying two bags of groceries. She fumbles with her keys and just manages to get in without dropping anything. She is still in her uniform, that of a diner waitress: boring, threadbare, designed by a man for a man. She kicks off her shoes and goes over to the answering machine and puts the groceries away during the following messages.

V/O 1: Hello dear, it’s your mother…again. Call me one of these days, will you? Or better yet, why don’t you come up here for a cup of coffee some day? Don’t try and tell me you’re so busy you can’t get away for a few hours to visit your own mother. (Pause) I can send your father down to Arnie’s for a drink, if you like. He can still remember where Arnie’s is, in fact he’s there right now. I don’t think he’d even recognize you anymore, to be perfectly honest. Anyway, call me, okay?

JULIE: Fat chance, bitch. Throw the old pervert in jail, then maybe we’ll talk.

V/O 2: Julie. Frank. Pick-up. I know you’re home. You left over an hour ago. Jessie called in sick. Stupid little skank. I need you to work a double tomorrow, no excuses, okay?

JULIE: Asshole.

V/O 3: This is an automated message from Rosedale High School. Your child “Katherine” was marked absent from “5^th” period today. Detention has been assigned and future lateness or absence without medical certification will result in suspension.

JULIE: What did you do now, you little tramp?

Julie has finished putting the groceries away and crosses to the couch. She lays down and puts a cold cloth on her head, still smoking. She closes her eyes.

Katherine appears in the hallway. She too is smoking a cigarette, which she stamps out before she enters. She comes in and reaches for Julie’s smokes.

JULIE: And just what do you think you’re doing?

KATHERINE: Just tidying up a bit for you, mom.

JULIE: Sure. Don’t you know smoking is bad for your health?

KATHERINE: I don’t smoke, mom.

JULIE: And I suppose you don’t have a tattoo on you left tit either, do you?

KATHERINE: Mom!

JULIE: Sooner or later a mother finds out all her daughter’s secrets, Katherine, never forget that. So how was school today?

KATHERINE: Sucked. How was work?

JULIE: Sucked. Are those new shoes?

KATHERINE: Yeah. Isabelle gave them too me. She says they hurt her feet too much. She’s getting so fat that in another couple of months none of her clothes are going to fit her.

JULIE: She’s not pregnant, is she?

KATHERINE: No, just stupid. Can I have a beer?

JULIE: You want to get fat like Isabelle?

KATHERINE: No, I want to get drunk and forget about my crummy day, just like you.

JULIE: Not a chance. So tell me about 5^th period.

KATHERINE: 5^th period?

JULIE: 5^th period.

KATHERINE: Phys Ed. I hate it. Say, have you seen the new neighbour? The guy who moved into 410? I saw him leaving this morning. He’s fairly young, younger than you anyway. Probably single. Why don’t you…?

JULIE: Back to 5^th period, matchmaker.

KATHERINE: Who cares about 5^th period?

JULIE: Apparently not you. The school called. They said you skipped.

KATHERINE: So?

JULIE: Did you?

KATHERINE: Yeah.

JULIE: Why?

KATHERINE: I had my reasons.

JULIE: Let’s hear them.

KATHERINE: It’s none of your business.

JULIE: You’re my daughter. And you’re fifteen. It is my business. Now where were you?

KATHERINE: Well if you’re going to be so anal about it, fine. I was at a rally downtown. I was out supporting a cause I believe in.

JULIE: And what cause was that?

KATHERINE: Gun control. The government wants to extend the deadline for registering every gun in Canada another six months. We didn’t think that was appropriate. After all, they’ve had years to do this…

JULIE: And you think a bunch of illiterate rednecks are worth skipping school over?

KATHERINE: It’s not that at all. They’re deliberately dragging their feet. We don’t want the government to extend the deadline. The law is the law. We want them to start arresting those bastards.

JULIE: You’ll be living on the streets if you don’t graduate.

KATHERINE: Are you even listening to me? This is serious.

JULIE: So is skipping school. Look, honey, I’m glad you feel strongly about this, really I do, but it’s just not worth skipping school over.

KATHERINE: How can you say that? Do you remember what happened down at…?

JULIE: Yes, I remember. I’m glad you want to honour their memories. But if they were alive today I’m sure…

KATHERINE: But they’re not alive today, mom. They’re dead. They’re dead because we couldn’t do anything to stop the monsters who hate us just because we’re women. Well now we can stop them. We can stop them from doing what they did to those women down at the Polytechnique, and that’s one hell of a lot more important thing to me than a damn class.

JULIE: I don’t want the school to call again.

KATHERINE: Mom!

JULIE: No more skipping. Any more and you’ll be grounded for another week.

KATHERINE: Another week?

JULIE: You weren’t going to get off with just a warning. Consider yourself lucky you don’t lose your phone.

KATHERINE: You’re treating my like a kid!

JULIE: You are a kid! My kid. A very stubborn, stupid, pig-headed kid, but still my kid. And my kid is not going to be skipping classes. My kid is going to go to school, study her ass off and graduate and have some decent chances in her life that her mother never had.

KATHERINE: What’s the point of having chances if I can’t walk through a dark alley late at night?

JULIE: That’s enough!

KATHERINE: Why aren’t you listening to me?

JULIE: I said that’s enough!

KATHERINE: You’re scared, aren’t you? You’re scared I’ll drop out of school and wind up just like you. Just another pregnant teenage whore.

Julie strikes Katherine across the face.

More How-to Guides

2010-04-20T00:00:00.000-04:00

I especially like the "How to get started in Acting" one. Check out the video - Sir Ian McKellan on Acting - it offers the best acting advice EVER!

Happy Birthday

2010-04-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

29-and-a-half never loooked so good...

How to save money on theatre tickets

2010-04-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

Apparently this is an article that's appealing to a lot of people on Helium - Enjoy!

How to save money on theatre tickets

Hitchin' at the Junction Sample - your comments welcome!

2010-04-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

Hitchin’ at the Junction

A “Gay Nineties” Melodrama in One Act

By Eric Goudie

1^st Draft © November 2009

Scene: The Train station in Ennotville (the name can be changed to a local reference) on a hot summer’s day. A small rectangular building with a ticket window and door forms the station-master’s office upstage left. A bench sits just centre of the office, and a large lever for switching the tracks likes SR. The lever has two positions – one marked “Into Town” and the other marked “Elora Gorge” (or other local reference to a deep gully, ravine or cliff). The lever is currently in the “Into Town” position. A single line of train tracks run across the front of the stage.

Music Begins

Offstage Voices:

Oh we are the good folks of the drama

Come here to brighten up your day

With a story ‘bout your Grandpa and Grandma

And life as it was in times of yesterday.

Here at the (Ennotville) railroad junction

Some trouble will happening today

But everything that happens has a function

In the happy ending to our little play.

But we’re going to need to ask you to help us

To make sure our story turns out right

Yell hooray and cheer and fuss

When you see our hero dressed in white

And when you see the lovely Bessie

She’ll surely catch the eye of every fellow

Watch over her when things start to get messy

And you’ll know her by her lovely gown of yellow

There’s just one more person to this pack

And here is what we’d like you to do to

When you see the villain dressed in black

Shout at him, jeer at him, hiss at him and boo boo boo!

Now you know all you need to play

It’s time for our show to start

Have fun upon this wondrous day

And don’t forget to play your part.

Lights up.

Bessie enters. She is a ravishing yet virtuous beauty, dressed in a yellow dress of cheap cloth and innocent modesty. She carries a small suitcase, and an umbrella, which she is holding over her head to protect herself from the hot summer’s sun. She looks about, sees that no one else is around and sits down on the bench. She reaches into her dress and pulls out a small necklace with a heart-shaped locket, which she opens up and looks at. She lets out a long, mournful sigh.

Bessie: Oh, woe is me. I am a poor, orphaned little lost soul in the sea of life. Oh mother and father, why did you abandon me so young? (she sings)

I’m a lost soul in the sea of life

To mommy and daddy I was nothin’ but strife

Now I’m alone and my worries are rife

I’m a sad lost soul in the sea of life

When I was a child life was happy and gay

My parents owned a freak show in a circus midway

We didn’t have much but we had fun every day

And as far as we knew that’s how it would stay

Then one day a creepy man came to the fair

Pulled out a gun and told us to put our hands in the air

He cleaned us out but the circus owners didn’t care

The demanded at day’s end that we still pay our share

Well Daddy had no savings and Mommy was broke

So the went to the owners and of their troubles they spoke

But the owners were mean and they didn’t give a croak

They called the police and my parents were arrested – no joke!

So now my parents are in prison and I am alone

Doing my virtuous best to get enough blood from a stone

If I were a dog surely someone would throw me a bone

But none will help me and it seems I’m on my own

So here I am that station of the little place

To see if I can find someone who’ll look upon my face

Perhaps my looks, with some charm and a touch of grace

Will bring this sadness to end and me to a happier place!

At the conclusion of the song Bessie returns to lovingly admiring the pictures of her parents and letting out some more mournful sighs. Suddenly a loud explosion is heard off SR. Bessie leaps to her feet, replaces the locket and peers into the distance.

B: Christmas to Murgatroyd! An explosion by the side of the old gorge! I must go quickly and make sure that nobody was hurt.

Bessie hurries off SR. The stage is empty for a few moments, then Cedric Snead enters, clothed in black from head to toe, but dusting off some dirt from the explosion.

C: Ahh, the station is deserted, I see. Perfect! Now I can complete my fiendish plan in peace.

Cedric goes over to the lever and pulls it (with much effort) to the “Gorge” position.

C: There! Now when the Daily Flyer comes charging through this pitiful little station instead of going straight through town it will divert and head to the gorge. By the time the engineer realizes that I, Cedric Snead, have blown up the bridge over the gorge it will be too late! The train will go over the edge and be a spectacular wreck. And then I should have no trouble stealing the money that is stored on board the train, money that is destined for the Governor’s Bank in Inverhaugh (or other local reference). I’ll be rich, rich, RICH! (he laughs fiendishly)

C: All I have to do do now is make sure that no one happens to come by and notice that switch! It’s a wonder there’s no incompetent country boob of a station-master here minding his post. I had hoped to dupe him with some elaborate ruse and perhaps even get him to throw the switch himself. But not matter. All is in place now. Nothing to do but sit back and wait for my fiendish plan to be a success! (more devilish laughter) Now, I wonder what I shall do with all that money.

Cedric sits down on the bench and daydreams of his riches. A few moments later Bessie re-enters, her dress no covered with soot, burn marks and tears. She is stumbling along, clearly unable to see her way.

B: The station! I must have made my way back to the station. Yes, this is the lever I saw earlier, but I could have sworn it was in the other position.

Cedric starts at the sound of Bessie’s voice, and then stares at her, awestruck.

C: No, it can’t be –

B: Hello? Is someone there? Can you help me?

C: (in a very fake accent) Hello, miss. My name is Cedr – er, I mean Seymour Smith and I am the station master for this little town. How can I help you?

B: Oh, Mr. Smith I’m so glad I’ve found you. I was here earlier and the station was deserted – why weren’t you about?

C: (accent) Oh my apologies, Miss, but I have been busy all morning a-chasin’ after my second cousin’s pigs.

B: Oh dear me, Mr. Smith, I guess pigs are awfully hard to catch. But I do need your help, Mr. Smith – the lives of many may depend on you!

C: (accent) Me, miss?

B: Yes, you Mr. Smith. You see, I was sitting here at the station when I saw what looked like an explosion over by the gorge. When I went over to investigate I found that the bridge had indeed been blown up! Fortunately it looked like no one had been hurt, but as I stared into the flaming debris looking for anyone in trouble the fire’s brightness seared my eyes and has left me blinded! I believe it’s only temporary, for I can see al little more with each passing moment. But I was sure that when I left the lever was in the other position, the one pointing away from the gorge. Now the lever points to the gorge. Mr. Smith, the Daily Flyer is in grave danger! You must reset the switch!

C: (accent) What is your name, young beauty?

B: Oh my apologies, Mr. Smith. I would shake your hand if I could see you, but I can only just dimly make out shapes at present. My name is Miss Beatrice Buxom. Everyone just calls me Bessie, though.

C: (no accent) Ah ha! I knew it! (quickly, with accent) Ah, Miss Buxom, here is my hand, though I fear it’s coarse lines and bony ridges may be too crude to ever touch palms with as fine and exquisite a creature as you.

B: Oh, Mr. Smith, you flatter me foolish! I am just a simple girl with plain features and modest assets. But what about the train?

C: (accent) You needn’t worry yourself about the train, Miss Buxom. The Daily Flyer isn’t running today.

B: It isn’t?

C: (accent) No, the Daily Flyer on runs on days that end in “Y.”

B: Oh. Does Saturday (or day of the week the show is on) end in Y?

C: (accent) You don’t know? Do you not read?

B: Oh Mr. Smith, please don’t ask me that, please!

C: (accent) My deepest apologies, Miss Buxom – I mean no offense. Forgive my forwardness. I am usually more restrained, but I cannot help being fascinated by you, I confess.

B: (snifling) I’m sorry, Mr. Smith. Yes, it’s true I’m afraid – I cannot read a word! You see, my parents were merely humble freak show performers. My Father was a contortionist and my mother the Bearded Lady. They gave me a few lessons in between their acts, and mine as a human cannonball. But what few books we had were stolen from us by the dastardly villain who also stole our money, our trailer and all our possessions, leaving me destitute and my parent’s in the debtors prison. Oh Mr. Smith I know it’s wrong to say so, but I hate that evil, evil man who did this to us.

C: (accent) Do you remember his name, perchance?

B: I’ll remember his name until the day I die, Mr. Smith. He was the lion-tamer’s apprentice – Cedric Snead.

Cedric coughs and chokes at the sound of his own name.

B: Are you okay, Mr. Smith?

C: (accent) Yes, yes Miss Buxom, I… I… I was just taken aback by your story, utterly shocked and sorrowed that anyone should treat someone so fine as you in such an uncouth manner!

B: Oh that isn’t the worst of it, Mr. Smith. Not only did Cedric Snead rob my family clean he also made it clear that he had un-pure designs on me. Me! A simple girl with plain features and modest assets. His intentions, I fear, were far from honorable. But enough about that vulgar man, Mr. Smith. I think my vision is returning. Very soon I should be able to see your face, I think.

C: (no accent) No! (accent) Uh… Miss Buxom, you must protect your pretty eyes! My father was a surgeon who taught me something of medicine. If your eyes remain uncovered in this hot summer’s sun your vision will never return in its entirety. Quickly, you must cover your eyes with a binding.

B: Oh! Thank you Mr. Smith, I had no idea a binding was necessary.

Bessie rips off a (preset) loose sleeve from her dress and ties it around her eyes.

B: There, Mr. Smith. Now I cannot see a thing.

C: (no accent) Ah, excellent, Bessie. (accent) I mean, I mean, that’s very good, Miss Buxom.

B: Thank you, Mr. Smith. You’re most kind – though every once in a while you seem to burst out and say things in a voice that strangely familiar to one I wished I’d never heard a great many years ago…

C: (accent) Tell me, Miss Buxom, and forgive me for being so forward, but you have such a glowing complexion – just like a woman in love. Is there a man in your life?

B: (giggling) Oh, Mr. Smith, really? I’m just a simple girl with plain features and modest assets – I certainly don’t have a glowing complexion – and no, there’s no man in my life, much as I wish it were so.

C: (accent) Miss Buxom, there’s certainly a man in your life now!

B: Oh Mr. Smith how forward of you!

C: (accent) Forgive me, Miss Buxom, but I have been struck by you since the first moment I laid eyes on you, so many years, I mean minutes, ago. I want your… your tender virtues and delicate… manners. Oh Miss Buxom, please be mine!

B: Mr. Smith, I am amazed and utterly flattered. I can’t imagine what you see in me, but I have come to this place to find the comfort and security that comes with wholesome matrimonial bliss. Very well then, Mr. Smith, with no parents available for permission and counsel the decision is mine alone to make and make it I will. Mr. Smith, I humbly accept your offer. I am your betrothed.

C: (accent) Oh, Miss Buxom how wonderful. I fear I have no ring to give you to show proof of our bond, but will you give me your word? Your promise will be as strong a bond as any ring.

B: Yes, yes, yes Mr. Smith – Seymour. I give you my word as a pure, honest girl that I am hereby betrothed to you, and I will remain true to you no matter what may come our way.

C: (no accent) Yes! Ah! Hahahahahaha! Oh Bessie, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment to come. You are mine now!

The non-politics of Grinder Productions

2010-04-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's an election year in Centre Wellington.

The polls don't open until October (and even then I think we vote by mail-in ballot) but already it seems that the campaign is in full swing. The signs are going up, the letters to the editor in the Wellington Advertiser are getting filled with rhetoric and Conservatives, Liberals, New Democrats, Greens, Christians, NIMBY's, special interst groups, lobbyists, bureaucrats, wanabes, hot-heads, lunatics, businesspeople, and councillors are gearing up for what promises to be a long and ugly campaign.

I have a sinking feeling that this election will bring out the "ugly" in a lot of people. We've got some polarising issues this time around, and as much as I'm saddened to say it, theatre may be one of them. I've been deeply hurt by some of what the misinformation already, and if it becomes one of the issues that catches fire in the campaign much of the work I and many others have been doing for the past ten years will go up in smoke.

That being said I want to make something crystal clear: Grinder Productions will NOT be taking a political stand in this election. We won't be using this blog as a prosyletising forum to endorse one particular candidate or deride another. I will delete any partisan comments, and I will not tolerate anyone politic-ing at our shows.

This is a key part of our company's ethics policy - we do not directly or indirectly support any political party, candidate or ideology.

I'm not looking forward to this election. Our last municipal election in 2006 was very nearly a blood sport, and there wasn't nearly as much vitriol flying around at this point in the campaign as there is now. Yes, I will study the issues and the candidate's stands on them very carefully, and yes, I will vote.

But if I have to spend the next four years convincing people all over again, one at a time, that my career and my way of life is not an expensive indulgence but rather one of the under-appreciated drivers of Centre Wellington's economy then we may have to re-think the non-politics of Grinder Productions.

The Playwright's Circle

2010-04-13T00:00:00.000-04:00

The Playwright’s Circle at Grinder Productions

Our Goals

To give ordinary people a chance to tell their stories through theatre
To workshop, review and discuss new plays, providing substantial, constructive, honest feedback to the writer
To reward playwrights with the production of their plays

Our Process

There are three tiers of the playwright’s circle, each reflecting the increased levels of commitment to the writing process:

Short Drama: Members will create short scenes, two-person dialogues, comedic sketches, monologues, songs, movement pieces and other dramatic materials generally not longer than 10 minutes in length.
One-Acts: Members will outline, draft and develop a one-act play 20 – 50 minutes in length.
Full-length: Members will craft a full-length play, which will then be extensively reviewed and work-shopped by the circle, and often given a staged reading. The final product will be given a main stage production.

All members of the circle are encouraged to write to all three tiers to whatever degree they feel comfortable doing so.

Email grinder@grinderproductions.org if you would like more information or to join this group.

Beware the blank blogger

2010-04-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's actually Friday that I'm writing this, though it won't go up until Monday. The only reason I'm compiling my posts for the coming week now is because quite frankly that's all that I'm really capable of at the moment.

Fridays are usually the worst day of the week for me, with the previous five days of sleep deprivation culminating in a dense fog that often doesn't lift until around 2pm on Sunday. This week has been compounded by a couple of relatively late nights and the horrifying reality that we can't sleep in either Saturday or Sunday of this week, so another seven (no, I lie - eight - we're busy next Saturday too) days stretch out before us, laughing like a madman at our misfortune.

So with the choice of getting nothing done and falling even further behind I've decided to cross one thing off of next week's list, in the hopes that I can move one of my overdue items to Monday, when hopefully I will be more coherent...

Until then, I'll keep on blankly blogging away my blues.

Roughing It Sampler - Your comments welcome!

2010-04-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

Time: The Present

Place: A run-down shack in the woods of Northern Ontario

At first glance the cabin is exactly like the one pictured in the brochure from Shady Glen’s Summer Camping Getaways; rustic, cozy and decidedly inhabitable, nestled amongst the blue spruce on the shores of your very own private lake! But upon closer inspection the real picture becomes clear: about a quarter mile up from the shore, on the top of a ridge lies a rotting pile of lumber that was once, at its best, no more than an overnight cabin on a trapper’s line. The windows are broken, there’s a hole in the door and when it rains the water pours in from the many holes in the roof.

The entire action of the play takes place in front of the cabin. There’s a porch, a couple of old lawn chairs, a rotting picnic table, a fire pit and an outhouse. The lake is off SR, and just off SL is a spring-fed stream. Just behind the cabin is a seemingly impenetrable wall of old-growth forest.

At rise, it is late morning on a beautiful summer’s day, very hot out – just hot enough to keep the mosquitoes at bay. After a moment to establish the scene a panting sound is heard, growing louder and louder. Rowan emerges from SR, where she has just climbed to the top of a steep ridge.

Rowan is a 40-something mother of two boys (both now grown) and a daughter (who is now 15). About a dozen years ago she kicked her lazy, philandering husband out the door, nailed him for alimony, went back to school and re-trained to be an accountant. Starting out in an entry-level position in a minor firm she’s since become a managing partner, aiding her company in what can only be described as a meteoric rise to the top of the financial services industry and earning herself some generous bonuses along the way. Thanks to her drive and determination she’s done quite well, all things considered, but the cost of raising three kids has meant that financial freedom is still another few years off.

Rowan: It’s here! I made it! I finally made it! I finally made…

(She stops mid-sentence as she sees the condition of the cabin.)

Rowan: Oh shit.

(She pulls a crumpled brochure out of her pocket, comparing the picture on it to the cabin itself. As she does so Athena enters, also from SR.)

Athena is Rowan’s daughter. While she’s not a “typical” teenager she does have a lot in common with them. She’s quite attractive and in perfectly reasonable physical condition, yet obsesses about her looks and her weight almost as much as she obsesses about boys – especially the fact that she does not, for all her charms, yet have a boyfriend. She grew up without a father and at times, she feels, without a mother, yet there isn’t that bitter animosity that poisons so many mother-child relationships. Athena recognizes that Rowan’s success was in no small part due to the inspiration she derived from needing to provide for her children, and for that she’s earned Athena’s grudging respect. However, Athena is still her own person and believes her mother has no rights over her any more.

Athena: Oh shit.

Rowan: Watch your mouth dear.

Athena: Is that supposed to be the cabin?

Rowan: I think so.

Athena: Oh shit.

Rowan: It kind of looks like the picture in the brochure.

Athena: Yeah, a little bit, I guess. All the trees are a lot smaller. What’s that number 62 in the corner of the picture mean?

Rowan: I thought that meant it was cabin number 62. I think it means this picture was taken in 62. 1962. This picture is over 40 years old.

Athena: It looks old in the picture. This crap-hole must be older than Grandma!

Rowan: I said watch your mouth dear! Where is Mom?

Athena: I thought she was right behind me?

(Rowan and Athena go over to the top of the ridge and peer down, trying to see if they can see her).

Rowan: Mom? Mom? Where are you?

Athena: Grandma? She was right behind me.

Rowan: I don’t see her anywhere. Oh my God I hope she hasn’t fallen.

Athena: She wouldn’t.

Rowan: She might. She’s not very out-doors-y. Why did I ever think a weekend in the woods would be a good idea?

Athena: (calling) Grandma? Grandma? Where are you? Are you okay?

Rowan: (calling) Mom? Mom?

In the meantime Maeve has appeared from SL. She’s an older lady, definitely into her 60’s, but still quite spry, not moving too quickly but not moving with much difficulty either. While the other two entered panting and sweating heavily and carrying nothing she has entered just a little winded, carrying her purse and a small overnight bag. She looks quizzically and Rowan and Athena.

Maeve: Yes, dear?

(Rowan and Athena shriek and turn)

Rowan: Mom! Mom you scared the wits out of us? How did you… I mean we were…

Athena: How did you make it up here before us? Can you like fly or something?

Maeve: (chuckling) No, lassie, I’m afraid I can’t fly. All I did was walk up the path.

Rowan: Path?

Maeve: Yes dear it runs right up the side of this ridge. I saw it while we were coming in on the boat and you two ran off before I could tell you about it. It just circles around a bit and you just have to be careful crossing that old fallen log that goes over the stream just there now.

Athena: I don’t believe this. Grandma, look at the cabin. It looks like we’ve been ripped off!

Maeve: Oh my. Oh my oh my. I don’t think that looks much like the cabin in the picture.

Rowan: The picture was taken in 1962. And we were taken for a bunch of city-slickers.

Athena: You mean you were, Mom. Why couldn’t we just go and visit Grandma for the weekend and stay at her place instead of you dragging us all out here to the middle of nowhere?

Rowan: I’m sorry, Athena. Sorry Mom. I just wanted us to get away together someplace nice for the weekend. A girls-only retreat.

Maeve: It’s all right dear. It’s still early. We can head back to Emsdale and get a room at that little motel where we had breakfast. I’ll bet there’s a lot of shopping and sight-seeing we can do up here this weekend, we’ll just have to ask someone.

Rowan: You’re right, Mom. You two rest here, and I’ll go back down and get Glen stopped before he brings too much of our stuff up here.

Maeve: Oh dear, that’s right! He won’t be bringing anything up. He left.

Rowan: What?

Maeve: He left. All your bags are sitting on the dock. I don’t think he had any intention of bringing them up here in the first place.

Athena: But he’s supposed to! We’re girls!

Maeve: He was such a nice young man. He said he didn’t think he’d be back until the pick-up time, though. Apparently he’s got a lot of fishermen in the bush up here and it’s all he can do to get them all in and out of the bush on time. I brought my own bag up. What you two need such monstrous suitcases for is beyond me.

Helium Articles

2010-04-08T00:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I featured my How-to Guides on Helium. Today, I'd like to direct you to a few regular articles of mine that you might find interesting:

Feedback is always welcome, and Helium is always looking for new writers. Want to join? Just send me an email at grinder@grinderproductions.org and I'll send you an invite!

How To...

2010-04-07T00:00:00.000-04:00

Helium's newest experiment are "How-to Guides." Thankfully there are some theatre-related titles, and the powers-that-be have deigned that I am a writer of sufficient vim and vigour to be a member of this exclusive community within the site. While I'm working shooting for a new guide every week here are the ones I've created so far:

Each guide contains simple-yet-comprehensive steps to complete each of the tasks, as well a host of additional content: a "tools needed" list, tips and warnings, related articles, related YouTube videos and more. You can also rate the guide as helpful (or not!), leave comments, and even ask me a question.

Please take a moment to check out one or more of these guides out, and let me know what you think of them.

Thanks!

April Newsletter Now Available

2010-04-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

Get it here.

Chapter 4 - Standby, Mackenzie

2010-04-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

Mackenzie arrived at the theatre at 7am for the second day of rehearsals. Now 7am is an ungodly hour for theatre night-owls used to 8pm curtains. For actors and directors making a 10am rehearsal call time is being incredibly punctual, and the fact that stage managers start their days bright and early at 9:30 a bit of a curiosity to say the least.
But Mackenzie had work to do. Sure enough Big Cheese had been right – Steven and Juan had hit the bar after three hours of set building yesterday and had were nowhere to be found. Mackenzie had spent a few hours in hunting for items in the props shop, dumping items on stage as she found them. She had planned on getting there early this morning to set everything up and make sure she had “show-quality props” for everything that she possibly could.
The door to the theatre was locked, but through the window Mackenzie spied an extension cord running across the floor, and heard the faint roar of the vacuum cleaner once again. She rapped loudly on the door, and Bret let her in.
“Well somebody’s an eager-beaver this morning!”
“I have props to set up.”
“You do, do you?” Bret grinned surreptitiously.
“What?”
Mackenzie ran into the theatre and through the doors into the auditorium. Her props were all there onstage all right, but instead of just being in a heap they were arranged neatly on the set and on the props tables. Where dirty stand-ins and quickly-gathered items had been the night before there were now actual props. The shelf where the cupboard was supposed to go now held matching dishes, cups and glassware. There was matching cutlery on the table where there would eventually be a drawer. Freshly split firewood was stacked beside an actual woodstove that Mackenzie was sure hadn’t been in the props room or the shop. Ditto for the rustic kitchen table and chairs. There was even a gingham tablecloth and floral centre-piece.
“What the *&^%! Bret – who – but the guys were – did you do this?”
“Well it wasn’t the theatre fairies!”
In a sudden moment of unrestrained joy Mackenzie found the courage to throw her arms around Bret and kiss him ever so quickly on the lips before burying her head in his shoulder.
“Oh thank-you! Thank-you! Thank-you! Thank-you!”
“Anything for a rookie.”
“But how did you… I mean, I didn’t have half this much stuff here last night. And the woodstove? Where did that come from? And why? Why would you do such a wonderful thing for me?”
“You ask too many questions, Macky. And you’re not a bad props girl, for a rookie. But this – this is what Frank had in mind.”
“But he didn’t give me a deadline – he just said he wanted this stuff as soon as possible.”
“And by that he meant that he wanted it yesterday. He would have tore a strip off of you if that was all you had managed to find. You want a cup of coffee?”
Bret led the still shell-shocked Mackenzie out to the lobby, where the smell of Marlene’s pet dark roast was already emanating from the concession area. He poured Mackenzie a generous cup, and then one for himself, and they sat down in the plush chairs usually reserved for executive patrons on opening nights.
“Macky, you’re a good kid.”
“And you’re still 21.”
“And you don’t know the first thing about theatre. Do you know what Frank expects you to have ready for today?”
“Duh – the props.”
“The costumes.”
“What?”
“You will need to take the actor’s measurements today, something Frank will tell you should have been done at the read-through. He’s used to having a preliminary costume fitting by Day 2 of rehearsals, so he’ll realize today that costumes are behind schedule. Since Steven and Juan don’t know the first thing about costumes you’ll have to find as much stuff as you can in the costume shop and go to it. Push Frank to give you as much information as possible on what he’s looking for – you’re not a costume designer, so don’t get fancy – just give him whatever he wants. If you need to use any of the actor’s personal items – even shoes – that’s a union thing that you’ll have to check your CTA about. Also make sure to tell the actors they have a fitting tomorrow so that they wear underwear. By Friday you’ll want to have the costumes done and ready to go, because you won’t have time to deal with them next week.”
Once again Mackenzie was dumbfounded.
“Bret, how the heck do you know all this stuff? I thought you were the janitor.”
“I am the janitor. And as you seem to keep having to remind me I’m also 21.”
“So…?”
“So I know a thing or two about theatre. I don’t want to talk about it. I helped you this morning because you are a really nice, sweet girl, who’s totally clueless about what she’s gotten herself into.”
Bret got up to leave.
“Bret, what is Frank expecting me to have ready for him tomorrow?”
“The sound track. I’ll help you do with that after rehearsals are over tonight.”

Harrison Ford to play title role in Grinder Productions play Cymbeline

2010-04-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

Happy April Fools!

Welcome to our New Members

2010-03-31T00:00:00.000-04:00

Our open auditions this past Saturday saw over 30 new members added to the Grinder family. Since there’s no membership fee to join our company once you’ve auditioned – congratulations! It’s like the Teamsters, you’re in for life.

I earnestly hope that all of our new members enjoy their time with us, and I look forward to making some great theatre with each and every one of you.

This newsletter will be delivered monthly to your inbox, packed full of information about the shows, auditions and special events that are happening at Grinder, as well as the occasional bit of lighter fare. Back issues of the newsletter are also available on our website (which would be great if, for example, you’d like to find Chapters 1,2 and 3 of Standby, Mackenzie – they’re in this year’s previous issues).

And as I may have mentioned at the auditions, I am a theatre junkie through-and-through. Feel free to get in touch with me anytime if you have a question about anything and everything theatre-related, even if it doesn’t pertain to a show you’re doing with us at that particular moment. I’m always available to listen, offer advice and do what I can to make putting on plays more fulfilling and enjoyable for you and your audience, because this is what I love to do!

At work on theatre

2010-03-30T00:00:00.001-04:00

Our auditions this past Saturday were a lot of fun. I had a great time, met some great people, and was genuinely impressed more than once - that in itself is more than enough to declare it a success.

But it has left me oddly drained. Most of Sunday I felt exhausted, irritable and down, as if coming down from the high I was on the day before. Has it really been that long since I've been out of the game? Does the cut-and-thrust affect me so profoundly.

It's only in the dawn of the next day that it all becomes clear - the ups and downs are still there, but they aren't as profound as before. Three years ago a great day of auditions could translate into a week of melancholy, and while we're by no means out of the woods yet on this one I am feeling more like my old self sooner.

Such is the rollercoaster ride of theatre.

Auditions Reflections

2010-03-29T06:22:00.002-04:00

Our open auditions on World Theatre Day have come and gone. It maybe wasn't the largest call we've ever had, nor was it the smallest, but it felt different to me than some of the previous ones we've had. In fact, I don't think I've felt that way about an audition call since our first really big one, back in 2006. That was a day where magic was made, knowingly or not, and the seeds of future successes were sown.

Did the same thing happen on Saturday? Jules seems to think so. She's only got one previous experience with this, but she tells me that this time feels better than the last. I think I agree with her, and while I'm careful not to put too much stock into gut feelings (and we've still got a long road ahead of us before we can declare any sort of victory) I do feel, well, good.

I sent out the offers last evening and it's now 6:30am and both acceptions and rejections are starting to come in. A lot of people wanting more information - which I guess is good - it means they're interested. Now the real casting dance begins, a casual interplay of emotion, pragmatism and faith, as I flesh out a season with these people and others. If the dance goes right so too will the summer. Get it wrong, and I might as well hand Tim Hortons my resume right now.

In between the extremes of perfection and disaster lies a delicate-but-attainable middle ground - this is where the magic happens.

Auditions are tomorrow...

2010-03-26T00:00:00.001-04:00

... see you there!

519-780-7593
grinder@grinderproductions.org

Getting it done

2010-03-25T00:00:00.000-04:00

It always seems to be a busy week. There's just so many tasks that stretch out before us on Monday, and so few of them that seem to be done by this point, and so many more that have been added. How do you keep up?

I've been wondering a lot about that lately. It seems that no matter how much I do, no matter how hard I work, I never seem to get any further ahead, or so it seems. But upon closer inspection it becomes apparent that something fundamental is going on, and that rather than not seeing the forest for the trees I'm not seeing the trees for the forest.

Yes, I am behind schedule in almost every aspect of my life (professional, financial, literary, take your pick). But it turns out I'm a lot less further behind than I used to be. There is less that I have to do in order to be "on top of things" than there was a year or even six months ago. I am closer to being "caught up" than I have ever been.

What's more, the things I was worring about a year ago were far more pressing than the things I'm worring about now. Last year the season was already falling apart - this year it's coming together much more nicely. Last year I was putting on weight, this year I'm losing weight. Last year I was run ragged by forces beyond my control - this year I'm in control of my time, my life, my company and my destiny, or at least well enough in control to be able to make some good things happen once in a while.

I'm not there yet, but I'm getting it done. There are those who say you never really get caught up, and technically they may be right, but I think I'm going to get a lot closer than I ever thought possible.

Auditions Teaser

2010-03-24T00:00:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd post a little bit of one of the shows we're doing this summer. This is a selection from The Heart of Eden - a romantic comedy that will be a part of our "Mostly Music Lunch" series. I may be using this as material for the cold read auditions, I may be not - check it out and enjoy!

Music begins. The stage is in darkness. The lights begin to rise ever so slowly, revealing the scene. The scene consists of a park bench, a garbage can, streetlamp and a fire hydrant. Large, thick undergrowth forms an impenetrable wall upstage, and two large bushes form an entrance on either side of the stage. As the lights come up it is apparent that someone is lying on the park bench, covered by a newspaper. As the Overture finishes it is replaced by the sounds of the city, intermingled with the sounds of the park. Suddenly, a loud siren goes past. The figure on the bench is startled awake, and frantically tries to pull the newspaper off of her and get up. This is Eden. She is about 20 years old and absolutely gorgeous, even though it’s clear that she has been asleep on the bench all night long. She wears a tight, white “I ♥ NY” T-shirt, blue jeans and sandals. She rubs her eyes and tries to get her bearings. Once she does she looks towards the rising sun.

Music #2: What a Beautiful Day

Eden: What a beautiful day it’s going to be.

Music begins, as Eden yawns, stretches and continues to look at the sunrise. Over the course of the song she will pick-up all the newspapers that are strewn about the stage (as well as any other litter), put it in the garbage, and find a small, dry tree branch, which she will pretend is a wide variety of objects: a flute, a baton, a microphone, etc.

Eden (sings):

My life’s been like a journey,
A voyage on stormy waves
Back and forth across the seas
To the sunset of yesterday

I knew not where I was going
Or that today I would arrive
At this glorious place this glorious morn
It’s so great to be alive!

What a beautiful day it’s going to be
What a beautiful day I’m sure
Today is the day things are going to change
A beautiful day will be my cure

I’ve felt the rain and heard cold winds roar
My heart’s been wrecked upon the rocks
I’ve been betrayed and sinners and saints
Got a PhD from the school of hard knocks

What a beautiful day it’s going to be
What a beautiful day I’ve got
Today is the day things start going my way
A beautiful day is my best shot

The song fades to underscore as Angel continues to play with the tree branch, taking an almost child-like fascination with all the things that she can pretend it is. She is clearly enjoying herself, and is so wrapped up in her game that she does not see Mike enter. Mike is a young man, also about 20 years old, but a bit geeky-looking, maybe wearing a button-down shirt, a tie, and a sweater vest overtop, and corduroy pants. He carries a small attaché case, and wears glasses. He does not notice Eden right away, but as soon as he does he stops dead, completely confused by her odd behaviour.

The stick has now become a fishing pole. Eden makes a cast, then jigs a few times, and gets a bite. She gives little jerk on the pole – and she’s hooked him! He’s big, really big, and a fighter. She can barely hold her ground as she plays out more and more line, until the line runs out. Eden hangs on for dear life, but suddenly the fish swerves in another direction, and Eden is pulled headlong into a very confused Mike. She crashes into him with such force that it knocks the branch out of her hand and knocks the them both to the ground, with the result being that Mike falls down flat on his back and Eden falls down face first on Mike. A pause. Eden smiles.

Eden: Big Fish.
Mike: Uh-huh.
Eden: I guess maybe I shouldn’t be fishing in the first place. I mean, they probably have rules about fishing in Central Park, right?
Mike: Right.
Eden: I mean I didn’t come here to fish. It just sort of happened.
Mike: I see.
Eden: Oh, by the way, my name’s Eden.
Mike: I’m Mike.
Eden: Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Mike: Eden?
Eden: Yes Mike?
Mike: Could you, maybe, get off of me, please?
Eden: Of course. Let me help you up.

Auditions Final Push

2010-03-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

There are still a few days left to sign up for the auditions!

Call 519-780-7593 or email grinder@grinderproductions.org for more info or to book a time.

If you've been sitting on the fence don't delay any longer! I guarantee you'll have a great time with us, so come on down!

Powering Through

2010-03-22T06:17:00.002-04:00

Monday. 6:45AM. Writer's block.

I read an article on Helium a while back from a guy claiming there's no such thing as writer's block - anyone who says they have writer's block is just a lazy, unimaginative writer. And while I guess if you're a bitter, struggling mid-level hack your ability to always come up with something to write about when others can't might bring you some comfort, but as I've been told this weekend after one of the most philanthropic gestures I've ever made, it's quality, not quantity that counts.

But quantity is what the world is all about. Write, write and write some more, we're told - you need a large body of work, a large portfolio, a large season of plays in order to be successful. But don't forget qualilty! Not only do you need a lot of stuff, but it's all got to be the absolute best. Yeah, you have to be the next Stephen King or you might as well go be a schoolteacher or a plumber or a miserable failure because you aren't good enough to be a writer.

It may be 6:53AM and my fingers aren't quite working as well as they should (I keep hitting the CAPS LOCK key) but my mind isn't quite as far gone as it usually is at this hour on a Friday. Consequently while my diction may not be at its best I'm still reluctant to believe that I'm a terrible writer just because I haven't yet said enough that's good enough for people to think of me as great.

I'm a lousy writer and proud of it. I write for money. I write for love. I write because I have to write and I want to people read what I write or watch it come to live on stage. I'm not Stephen King, but I do have a story to tell, a narrative arc to my plays, to my articles, to this blog and to my life that is interesting, valuable and and entertaining. I know I strike a chord with some people - some have told me, others have shown me, some have even tried to hide it.

I'm a lousy writer, but I'm powering through, because that's what all writers - good, bad or lousy - do.

Re-posting: Casting List

2010-03-18T00:00:00.000-04:00

Just some of what we're looking for this summer!

Series

Play(Dates)

Roles

Ennotville Library

Mainstage

Chaucer Uncensored

(May 9^th – July 3^rd)

Act 1: The Miller’s Tale

John, the cuckolded husband

Alison, his pure young wife

Nicholas, a young scholar

Absolon, the lusty parish clerk

Graves, a blacksmith

Act 2: The Reeve’s Tale

Simkin, a Miller

His Wife

His grown daughter

John, a young scholar

Alan, another young scholar

(actors may have one role in each act)

Godiva’s Children

(May 23^rd – July 17^th)

Leslie Godiva, a hard-working single mother in her 40’s

Jerome, Leslie’s teenaged son

Lola, Leslie’s teenaged daughter

Roughing It

(June 6^th – July 31^st)

Rowan, a 50-something business exec, mom

Athena, her nearly grown-up daughter

Maeve, her Irish immigrant mother

Wild Angels

(June 20^th – August 14^th)

Mom – an internet junkie with bills to pay

Kid – desperately seeking something better

The Boarder – a shy librarian who moonlights as a vigilante

The Night – various roles and vices

The River Rats

(July 4^th – August 28^th)

Character Names TBA

There will be three roles available for women over the age of 18.

Belwood

Cymbeline

(May 23^rd – July 10^th)

(Selected Roles)

Cymbeline, King of Britain

Cloten, son to Queen by former husband

Leonatus, a gentlemen, husband to Imogen

Belarius, a banished lord

Guiderius and Arviragus, sons to Cymbeline, supposed sons of Belarius

Philario, Italian, friend to Posthumus

Iachimo, Italian, friend to Philario

Caius Lucius, General of the Roman Forces

Pisanio, servant to Posthumus

Cornelius, a physician

Queen, wife to Cymbeline

Imogen, daughter to King by former queen

Mrs. Warren’s Profession

(June 13^th – July 31^st)

Praed – “hardly past middle age”

Vivie Warren – 22 “sensible, able, educated”

Mrs. Kitty Warren – “between 40 and 50”

Sir George Crofts – tall, powerful, about 50

Frank Gardner – “not long turned 20”

The Rev. Samuel Gardner – over 50

The 18 Carat Boob

(July 4^th – August 21^st)

Daisy Bell – 17, a lively, very feminine girl

Alice Bisnette – 18, a quiet, modest girl

Cora ~ 48, housekeeper, devoted to Alice

Charles ~ 49, chauffeur, Cora’s husband

Billy Kerns – 16, boyish, good student

Kitty Darling – 16, babyish, spoiled, lisps

Bella Sparks – 18, lively, rather boyish

Bud – 22, looks younger, an 18 Carat Boob

Bisnette – Alice’s Father, 45, businessman

Raymond Barkville ~ 34, suave, mysterious

Anna ~ 26, a maid, brisk and businesslike

Jack Merry ~23, quiet, proud, headstrong

Children’s Series

Too many to mention!

Just come on out and tell us when you’re available, we’ll get you in somewhere!

Mostly Music Lunch

The Heart of Eden

(May 9^th – June 26^th)

Eden – A cute, bubbly girl of about 20 with good movement skills who can sing.

Mike – A “loveable geek” of about the same age, also needs to move well and sing.

Hitchin’ at the Junction

(May 16^th – July 3^rd)

Bessie Buxomb – the heroine, “a simple girl with plain features,” smarter than she looks.

Cyril Snead – the meanest, nastiest, most dastardly villain you’ll ever meet!

Archibald Althus Altman – the hero. Stationmaster and county possum wrangler.

Love Notes

(May 23^rd – July 10^th)

Character Names TBA

Four roles are available, and all will require excellent mime and movement skills.

Laughing Out Loud

(May 30^th – July 17^th)

3 male or female comedians. I’m looking for clean but funny stand-up comedy. Your own material would be preferable, but we can help fill your 15 minute set if necessary.

The Girls of Grinder

(June 6^th – July 24^th)

Any females of any age with vocal talent are invited to come out and perform one or two songs, and join in group numbers. Please bring your own music on CD to the audition.

Legends of Elysium

(June 13^th – July 31^st)

3 Vocalists, any genre – Each vocalist in this show will get a 15 minute solo set, and may be asked to do a group number or two.

Narrator – connects the sets, could sing too.

Philemon and Baucis

(June 20^th – August 7^th)

Philemon, a poor husbandman, well past 60

Baucis, his wife, also well past 60

Jove, the King of the Gods

Hermes, his son, the Messenger God

Prologue and Epilogue

The Duke of Gordon

(June 27^th – August 14^th)

The Duke of Gordon

His Daughters: Elizabeth, Margaret, Jean

Captain Ogilvie

Many other roles – perfect play for beginners!

Where Corn Don’t Grow

(July 4^th – August 21^st)

Character Names TBA

The Father – an old farmer

His Grown-up son

His Grown-up daughter

Steppin’ Up

(July 11^th – August 28^th)

Anyone of any age with dancing ability is invited to perform, either solo or in groups. Please bring your own music on CD.

After Hours

Muzzle Blast

(May 23^rd – July 10^th)

Julie – Aged about 35. A single mom in a dead-end job, makes poor choices with men.

Katherine –16. Julie’s reckless, rebelling, daughter who believes she’s indestructible.

Harold – an angry 20-something who’s just been thrown out by his wife.

Hangin’ in the Balance

(June 6^th – July 24^th)

Nadia – A figment of an author’s imagination, a much-maligned Muse, the chronicler of terrible tales.

Lost and Found

(June 20^th – August 7^th)

She, the woman who washes up on the rock looking for her guardian angel

He, the man who washes up on the rock looking for his absolution

Living

(July 4^th – August 21^st)

Vincent, a deeply troubled young man

The woman, a mysterious figure that enters his life in a drunken stupor

On writing

2010-03-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

I've been doing a lot of writing lately.

I can tell because I'm getting better at spotting the typo's, but getting worse at correcting them - I guess it pretty well evens out in the end.

My Helium star rating is suffering badly enough that I'm in danger of dropping below 75% - not good, despite my prolific work of late. It seems that writing to low-number titles in an attempt to make a quick buck means my writing has to be all the better to compete with the other submissions, and I'm finding more and more of those are written by the all-stars who's work dominates the site.

Unlike other writers though I'm not about to start complaining, I'm just going to redouble my efforts and keep on plugging away until I reach my goal of 5 writing stars, the highest accreditation you can get on the site.

In addition, I have a few plays for the summer season that still need some work. Yeah, that's taking up a fair amount of time too.

And did I mention it's spring on the farm?

I'd better get back to writing.

Auditions Continue, but we need more than just actors

2010-03-16T08:16:00.002-04:00

Do you know what people in showbiz often call actors?

"The Talent."

"The Stars."

These are not lovingingly bestowed terms of endearment by awestruck techies basking in the glow of celebrity. These are the sarcastic epithets of jaded veterans who've spent years putting up with and dealing with the consequences from actors and their over-inflated egos.

I knew a techie who hadn't slept for days who had to give up his bed so an actor could lay down because he wasn't feeling well. I know techs who've fetched lunch for actors over their own mealtimes and been forced to go hungry. I've been asked to book an actor's tee time.

This sort of treatment, while certainly wrong, is the exception and not the rule, and I believe most actors have at least a partial understanding of the complimentary nature of their work and those of the technician, and that both are equally integral to making the show a success.

So yes, we're looking for actors right now, but we're also looking for people to work behind the scenes as well. At Grinder Productions the stereotypes won't be tolerated - everyone, actor, techie and patron are given equal respect at all times. So give us a call or send us an e-mail and let us know you'd like to get on board. There's a whole community of people here who would desperately love to meet you!

Phone: 519-780-7593
Email: grinder@grinderproductions.org

Audition Updates

2010-03-15T12:48:00.003-04:00

We're getting a great response so far to our call for new people, but with so many roles to cast I thought I'd go into a bit more detail today about some of the types of people we're looking for, so if you or someone you know are interested in joining us this might provide you with the incentive you need to to jump on board. We're are pleased to offer up:

Kids' Auditions: We have a ten-play children's series coming up this summer, so for kids ages 8 to 12 the chances of landing a role are excellent. No experience necessary, just come on out and be ready to have some fun. For those who are interested we're also offering summer day camps in theatre this July and August at the Library as well - information about these camps will be available at the auditions. Lots of spaces still available.

General Auditions: These will be held in small groups throughout the afternoon and are open to anyone and everyone ages 13 and up. They will be relaxed, informal sessions where we'll get to know each other, maybe play a game or two and then read some selections from scripts from upcoming shows. Absolutely anyone and everyone are invited - no past experience or formal training in theatre is necessary. Spaces filling up quickly, but I'm sure we can squeeze you in!

Specialist Auditions: Do you sing? Dance? Play an instrument? Juggle? Do magic tricks? How about a Trained Dogs Act? We're holding individual auditions in the early evening for people who want to showcase their individual talents, whatever they may be. More seasoned actors, or those who are looking for the experience of a "professional" audition may deliver a monologue if they wish, and singers can present a song and dancers can do their audition routine. Good times still available.

After Hours Auditions: I haven't talked about these quite as much, because admittedly the After Hours series isn't for everyone - the content of these shows may require some "viewer discretion is advised" warnings, (the particular "sins" being dependent on the show) and I know that's not everyone's thing. But if you are interested in something a little edgier we're doing individual auditions for these after 9pm.

Please call 519-780-7593 or e-mail grinder@grinderproductions.org for more information or if you would like to book an audition time. We would love to have you on board with us!

It's Friday....

2010-03-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

... and I'm completely written out - more to come next week!

Accommodations still needed

2010-03-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

We need your help! We have a staff member we would like to bring on board this summer who needs a place to stay that is within biking distance of the Ennotville Library and our rehearsal spaces.

Would you or someone you know be willing to open your home to a mature, responsible young woman between May and August of this year? Like most other theatres, we can’t afford to pay you in anything but free tickets to the entire season (and of course our utter thanks). Please call 519-780-7593 or email grinder@grinderproductions.org for more info!

Auditions Update

2010-03-10T00:00:00.001-05:00

Spaces are filling up fast, but there's still plenty of room for you!

Please consider joining us, no matter your age or level of experience - we have a lot of fun here at Grinder Productions, and we'd really love to have you join us.

Call 519-780-7593 or email grinder@grinderproductions.org for more information or to book your audition time.

How to become an actor or actress

2010-03-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

Helium as recently started something new - how-to guides. Selected members are invited to join the how-to guide community to write clear, concise instructions on how to do anything and everything, from how to cut, peel and seen an avocado to how to throw a football to yes, How to become and actor or actress. I hope you find it helpful - enjoy!

Standby Mackenzeie - Chapter 3

2010-03-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

The first day of rehearsals dawned sunny and clear, another beautiful summer’s day in Sheridan’s Falls. Last summer it would have been the kind of day Mackenzie would have called up Bethany, her best friend, to see if she wanted to head down to the lake for a swim and some boy watching.

Sadly though Bethany’s boy watching days were over, as she’d just moved away after school had ended in June to start a new life with her new boyfriend in a big new city. Mackenzie’s boy watching would have to be put on hold for a while too now, and as she walked downtown to the big old stone theatre something told her that she wouldn’t be spending much time enjoying the fabulous weather this particular summer.

The theatre was a buzz with the energy of a new play coming to life. Trudy was sitting in the box office, taking phone orders while typing an email and stuffing brochures into envelopes for her latest mailing, furiously gnawing away on her lips as she fretted about whether or not the box office was looking clean enough to welcome customers when the box office opened. Marlene was standing in front of the theatre smoking a cigarette and tapping out a message on her Blackberry when Mackenzie arrived.

“Are you all ready for the big day, kiddo?”
“I think so.”
“You’d better be. We’ve got a problem. One of the actors is lost. Frank’s not gonna be happy with you.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“Didn’t you call the actors and give them directions?”
“Nobody told me I was supposed to do that.”
“You’re just supposed to know enough. It’s called common sense. Nothing we can do about it now. I suppose you forgot to get some timbits too.”
“Timbits?”
“Tell Bret to go for them.”

And with that Marlene pitched her cigarette butt to the sidewalk and went back inside, muttering something about rookies. Mackenzie quickly followed after her.

The actual read-through wasn’t too bad. Mackenzie met the actors, and neither one of them seemed very shocked that she was their stage manager. The one actor who had gotten lost quickly found his way and was there on time, so there were no delays in getting started, and Frank was generally happy. As the actors read the play they brought it to life, and what had been a dull and dreary play about a couple of country hicks became a warm, lively, touching experience.

After lunch it was time to start blocking the play. Frank came up on stage just before they started, and for the first time seemed to notice the set design taped out on the floor, and the props table that was set up with a bunch of props with big “R’s” written on them.

“This will do,” he grumbled demurely. That was about as close to a compliment as you could get from Frank.

As an assistant stage manager Mackenzie had taken blocking notes before, and she had learned to reset props in between scenes. But she’d never done both at once before, and she’d never done it this much. It took a few angry glares from Frank the first few times before she got on to automatically getting up to reset the props every time they stopped. In the first two hours of rehearsal they had only blocked the first five or ten minutes of the play, but already Mackenzie was feeling exhausted, and her blocking notes looked like the aftermath of a war zone. Thankfully, one of the actors suggested that perhaps it was time for a break.

“Capital idea,” said Frank. “Mack, go see if there are some timbits left in the lobby. But when you get back I want to go over something with you.”

What Frank wanted to go over with her was scheduling. Again, it was another one of those things that she was just magically supposed to know, but apparently the theatre could get into real trouble with the actor’s union if there weren’t enough breaks scheduled. In fact there were rules about how long a work day could be, how much time there had to be for lunch, even that the actors had to be provided with a water cooler! Frank shoved a dog-eared book into her hands.

“This is your bible,” he said. “From now on make sure we’re doing everything by the book.”

Mackenzie looked at the black and silver-covered spiral-bound book. It was entitled The Canadian Theatre Agreement. Before she had a chance to look it over Frank called the actors back to the stage and the rehearsal continued. After a few more hours of mind-numbingly repetitive rehearsal Frank summed up the mood in the room.

“Well, stick a fork in me and turn me over, because I’m done.”

The actors giggled, and everyone was thankful that this first long day of rehearsals had come to an end. Frank invited the actors out for a drink, and though they both had a lot of memorizing to do they decided that yes, they had time for a quick one. Before he left Frank pulled Mackenzie aside for a quick confab.

“Tomorrow you’re going to have us working by the book, right?”
“Yes.”
“Now these rehearsal props, these are great and all, and they were fine for today, but I want you to get Steven and Juan off their lazy butts and get us some show-quality props for tomorrow. We’ve only got six days to pull this puppy together and I don’t want to be working with stand-ins any longer than I have to.”
“But weren’t Steven and Juan in the shop all day building the set?”
“No. They probably spent a couple of hours on set building and then decided to make an early day of it and hit the bar. If you can’t find them you’ll have to get us the show props yourself.”

And with that Frank and the actors left.

Auditions, auditions, auditions

2010-03-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

Spaces are filling up fast, folks - reserve your time today!

Call 519-780-7593 or email grinder@grinderproductions.org.

We have a lot of fun here at Grinder - we'd love it if you would join us!

March Newsletter now available

2010-03-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Check out the March newsletter here. Full of auditions info, summer camps info, and the latest chapter of Standby, Mackenzie.

Open Auditions on World Theatre Day at the Ennotville Library

2010-03-03T00:00:00.000-05:00

Saturday, March 27th is World Theatre Day, a day to celebrate, promote, defend and enjoy live performance across the globe. Grinder Productions is pleased to participate in World Theatre Day by holding open auditions for its 2010 season.

“Celebrating World Theatre Day with an open call for actors couldn’t be more appropriate for us,” says Eric Goudie, Grinder’s Creative and Executive Co-Director. “This day is about inclusiveness, it’s about entertainment and it’s about giving a voice to people and stories that must be heard. That’s exactly what we hope to accomplish in our upcoming season.”

The auditions will be open to everyone, regardless of age or gender. As is always the case with Grinder Productions no previous acting experience is necessary.

There are 32 unique events coming up this season. In addition to five plays at the Ennotville Library and 3 plays at the Belwood Hall the company has added a children’s series, a lunchtime “mostly music” segment and four “after hours” productions on selected weekends. As such the chances of landing a role this summer for anyone who comes out to audition are excellent.

Children’s auditions will be held in the morning, with kids up to the age of 12 being auditioned in small groups with creative games, storytelling and other activities.

Adults will audition in the afternoon in a relaxed, informal group atmosphere involving a few simple theatre exercises and some “cold readings” from various plays.

Later in the day there will be individual time slots for more experienced performers who wish to deliver a prepared audition piece, as well as anyone wishing to sing and/or dance for their audition (or show off a specialized skill). The day will conclude with after-hours auditions for anyone interested in those particular shows.

In addition to acting talent the company is also looking for directors, designers, stage managers and production personnel to help in various capacities, so even people who aren’t interested in acting but who want to get involved in the fun and excitement of live theatre are invited to come out. Once again, no previous experience is necessary.

Anyone who has auditioned for or performed with the company in the past is encouraged to do so again, so they can be seen by the new directors who have come on board for the 2010 season.

For more information or to book your audition time please call Eric at 519-780-7593 or e-mail grinder@grinderproductions.org.

Grinder Summer Theatre Camps for Kids!

2010-03-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

That’s right, we’ve got theatre camps!

After many years of waiting for all the chips to fall into the right places 2010 is the year we’re finally able to offer day camps for kids ages 8 to 12 at the Ennotville Summer Theatre.

Kids, I designed these camps with you in mind. We want to teach you a few things about theatre of course, but we also want to make sure you have a lot of fun. I remember from when I was back in theatre camp that the best part of it all was getting to perform onstage in an actual show. So that’s why at the end of every week you’ll get to use what you’ve learned by putting on a show, written by and starring your class and you!

Our camps this summer are designed with Moms and Dads in mind too. Our instructor will have a valid Police Check and first aid certification, our daily rehearsal venue at the Ennotville Library is a historical treasure nestled in a quiet corner of our community, and for four weeks of instruction we hope you’ll find the course fee of just $200 to be quite reasonable as well.

Camps will be offered in both July and August, Monday to Friday from 9am to 4pm. They are open to kids ages 8 to 12. The camp dates are:

July 5th—July 30th

August 2nd—August 27th

Please call 519-780-7593 or e-mail kids@grinderproductions.org to book a space for your child. The fee for the course is $200 per child. Please make checks payable to Grinder Productions. Full payment is due no later than the first day of classes.

Important Info for Parents:

Classes begin at 9am and end at 4pm—please ensure your child is dropped off and picked up on time!

Please send lunch with your child every day. There are no places to buy lunch in Ennotville.

Please make sure your child wears comfortable clothing suitable for rigorous gr group activity and that it’s okay to get dirty.

We will have shows every Friday at 3pm—please come if you are free!

Accommodations Needed

2010-03-01T08:09:00.000-05:00

We need your help! We have a staff member we would like to bring on board this summer who needs a place to stay that is within biking distance of the Ennotville Library and our rehearsal spaces.

Would you or someone you know be willing to open your home to a mature, responsible young woman between May and August of this year? Like most other theatres, we can’t afford to pay you in anything but free tickets to the entire season (and of course our utter thanks). Please call 519-780-7593 or email grinder@grinderproductions.org for more info!